Yes, yes, I know not all Brits are like this. But damn, gents, y’all need to figure out some way of dewussifying your country before everything resembling manhood completely vanishes from your island.
The American actress, 16, told how she has a knife collection and ‘relaxes’ by opening and closing a switchblade.
She said: ‘I have a knife collection. I have my favourite black knife with me all the time. It’s a switchblade.
‘It relaxes me to flick it. I close it and open it.’
So far, so what. A knife is a tool. And I also have a folding knife that, some years ago, I’d flick open and closed as a form of mindless relaxation. Better’n smoking.
But her words were condemned by campaigner Lyn Costello who said her comments were ‘warped’.
The co-founder of Mothers Against Murder and Aggression said she should set a better example to young fans.
Well, perhaps. Instead of a switchblade, something like a .380 automatic would be better. Granted, the .380 is, as defensive rounds go, kinda “girlie.” But this is a 16-year old “Gossip Girl” we’re talking about here.
Oh, wait, you mean she should set a better example by publicly announcing her defenseless victim status? Screw that noise!
Where the story gets really sad is when you read the comments.
Personally, my biggest problem with Ms. Momsen is that she looks like she could do with a couple cheezburgers.
“The women of this country learned long ago, those without swords can still die upon them.”
14 Responses to “How to panic the British”
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
http://www.motifake.com/saveas.php?id=80295
Or just scroll down the after searching for “Gun”:
http://www.motifake.com/tags/guns
(some good, some bad, some WTF?!?, and a few Excellent!!!)
My dad visited Scotland last year and brought home a sgian dubh as a present to me. The “blade” edge was totally dulled. Here’s a list of things that are sharper: stamped metal edges, cheese cutting wires, butter knives, the back of a normal knife, etc. The “blade” didn’t actually even come to an edge; it was a polished curve.
Even so, it still carried dire warnings of death and dismemberment.
I wonder if she has a “true” switchblade (where you press a button and a spring swings the blade into the extended position) or just a folding knife of some sort.
True switchblades are illegal to sell or own in the US and Britain, and the British law even bans large folding knives not carried with good reason:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knife_legislation#United_Kingdom
Regarding the sgian dubh, a lot of knives and swords are sold unsharpened to avoid having them classified as weapons when they are sent across borders.
All the Museum Replicas swords are sold unsharpened for that reason, to avoid hassles with the post office regarding sending weapons to various states.
On the other hand I got a Viking sword from Kris Cutlery many years back that not only had really great balance on it, but arrived with a edge so sharp that you could have shaved with it.
They don’t make the particular type I had anymore, but that was one kick-ass sword.
BTW, the sgian dubh has a handy function when sharpened; you can skin an apple with it, and then impale the apple with it so that it serves as a handle while you eat it. The sharp blade of the knife lurking in the core of the apple will encourage you to eat it in a careful and dainty manner. 😉
“True switchblades are illegal to sell or own in the US…”
Untrue, there are some asinine federal laws about shipping them across state lines but if a particular state allows ownership you’re golden. The local pawn shop had four of them for sale last time I walked into it. I almost considered getting one if they didn’t want so damn much for them.
Here in Idaho at least you can even carry one as a concealed weapon as long as you have a conceal carry license.
What she has would be a spring assisted lockblade, bimbo is too stupid to tell the difference. In England I would be massively illegal, since I carry a Buck 110, a Kershaw black anodized SALB, and an Emerson CQC 9 in sob. And the guns. They got a major problem with them, too.
Michael? Nice links, I’ll have to steal a few of them.
I saw the photo and that was my first thought too: Cheeseburger, stat! Seems like she is alright otherwise, though.
Jim
I still do not understand why anyone pays any attention to any statements by Hollywood denizens. They’re not real. Everything they do or say is intended to attract attention to them.
Nick P wrote:
“Untrue, there are some asinine federal laws about shipping them across state lines but if a particular state allows ownership you’re golden. The local pawn shop had four of them for sale last time I walked into it. I almost considered getting one if they didn’t want so damn much for them.
Here in Idaho at least you can even carry one as a concealed weapon as long as you have a conceal carry license.”
You caught me in a slip here, so I went and looked up the info on the laws:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Switchblade#United_States
I like the law in Connecticut, where you can carry a concealed switchblade…provided the blade is under an inch-and-a-half long.
This was done to keep the vicious gang fights among squirrels under control, while still allowing mice to protect themselves from rats.
But in California, all rodents are larger due to the warm climate, so under two inches was deemed reasonable for both ownership and concealed carry.
Texas surprised me though, as I would have thought that a switchblade would be allowed if one was “dressing up all fancy-like” and didn’t want a bulge in one’s clothing from the Bowie Knife all Texans over the age of six are legally required to wear “to keep them hornswoggling Mexican sidewinders under control”.
I can think of no more pathetic thing to bring to a knife fight than a switchblade with a blade under two inches long – unless it’s your intention to make your opponent laugh himself to death in some sort of exotic Zen combat strategy. 😉
What’s wrong with exotic Zen combat strategies ?
Oh right, death and dismemberment.
Still, flicking a lockblade IS relaxing.
Then there’s the dread Switchblade Comb, one of which makes an appearance in the movie “Grease”:
http://www.epartyunlimited.com/switchblade.html
Another company makes a tiny version of that for combing your mustache.
What I am now looking forward to saying should I ever again set foot on merry ole England:
“You think knives are bad? You should come to the states and watch me shoot my M1A!”
Is it true? No. Would it be really, really fun to say to a stupid Brit complaining about the evils of “knife culture”? You betcha.
I remember having one of those switchblade combs myself when I
was younger.
Hahaha, Taylor Momsen has been trying to cultivate a rebel image to go along with her terrible punk/noise band. I’m guessing this is part of it.
Still, seeing her in the east village is always a sight for sore eyes.
Yeah, she is pretty “Twiggy” looking to be very dangerous, isn’t she?
On the other hand, Bjork looked way too small to start beating the crap out of full-grown male Caucasian paparazzi in Auckland also:
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10486682
“Save us, Oh Lord, from the wrath of the Norsewomen.” 😉