Aug 162016
 

Here is Part Five of the story of Sarah, Zane, Loff and George transporting a shipload of rich folk to Gimli, a place where regular folk just don’t get to go. This, at long last, is the conclusion to the story (it’s been done for a couple months, but I’ve been a bit busy of late).

If you want to catch up in advance, Part One is available HERE, Part Two is available HERE, Part Three is available HERE, Part Four is HERE, and the previous story, “Mass Disappearance,” is available HERE. A couple story fragments starring this crew are available HERE and HERE.

If you like it, feel free to tell your friends, family, co-workers, random strangers, whoever. Like it, hate it or meh it, I’m interested in your thoughts via comments. In particular: do you read it in EPUB pr PDF??

“Going to Gimli Part 5,” PDF version

“Going to Gimli Part 5,” EPUB version

 

Also available is “Going to Gimli” in a complete edition. As a bonus, this version includes not only the worst cover art you’ve seen outside of… well, a whole lot of other self-published books, but also a technical diagram and a portion of the Zaneverse “bible” that describes the basics of artificial intelligences. Finally understand what the terminology means! This complete edition is available with the EPUB and 74-page PDF versions bundled together.
Download “Going to Gimli” for $3.

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 Posted by at 9:37 am
  • Peter Hanely

    Is that a hint at the end of a followup story?

    • Scottlowther

      Yup. Two, in fact. Though almost certainly not the *next* story.

  • Herp McDerp

    I liked it, and I’ll be buying a copy. Did you submit this to Analog? (If not, why the hell not?!)

    There are a few minor typos; I didn’t keep track. My overall reaction:

    * I wish you had done more with the uplifted cats. You introduced them, but you didn’t use them (other than the catfight over the male’s infidelity). Will they or various other characters introduced here be in later stories?

    * I liked the personalities of George and the Valkyrie AI. I liked the “travelogue” descriptions.

    * You’re tickling the Singularity with that artificial telepathy. There ought to be more uses for it than person-to-person communications. If I had it, I’d carry a copy of Wikipedia in my pocket and act a lot smarter than I do now.

    * I felt a bit underwhelmed at the revelation of What Happened to Zane on Earth. The description of Zane’s almost-corpse was as explicit as it needed to be, but still unexplained was the why of it. How had the surviving inhabitants of Earth been changed, what was the cause, and why did that indice them to do what they did? (And why do any of the inhabitants still survive, if they act that way?) Had Zane been in any danger of becoming one of them?

    * If this were sold as part of a longer novel, what you have here as an ending would be a great teaser for the rest. But for a stand-alone story, I think a bit more revelation would be needed as payoff.

    * And your writing has improved quote a bit since “Mass Disappearance.”

    • Herp McDerp

      “indice” –> “induce”

    • Scottlowther

      > Did you submit this to Analog? (If not, why the hell not?!)

      “No,” and “what would be the point.”

      > I wish you had done more with the uplifted cats.

      Valid. Some ideas were left out since what was meant to be a short, quick little tale ballooned out of control. I imagine a good editor would delete them entirely.

      > There ought to be more uses for it than person-to-person communications.

      This is a post-Singularity society. They are in many areas *less* advanced than they technically could be. A lot of this is due to culture/customs. Zane is somewhat anomalous in how willing he is to be cybernetically enhanced… but you might note that none of his advancements make him look any different than normal, nor make him functionally “superior” to other people… all his enhancements are simply tools. It’s vaguely akin to genetic enhancement in Star Trek… some unfortunate early examples (Khan & Co.) are used as an excuse to not try again, or “Dune” and the lack of computers.

      > still unexplained was the why of it.

      Yup. “Sarah & Zane’s Big Terran Adventure” will be explained more in future yarns. Episode Three of this story arc will have a lot of exposition hammered in. I will have to make sure it’s not done badly.

      > Had Zane been in any danger of becoming one of them?

      Nope. Not zombies or any such things.

      • Herp McDerp

        >> Did you submit this to Analog? (If not, why the hell not?!)

        > “No,” and “what would be the point.”

        To get paid!

        >> I wish you had done more with the uplifted cats.

        > Valid. Some ideas were left out since what was meant to be a short, quick little tale ballooned out of control. I imagine a good editor would delete them entirely.

        No, there’s a need for “corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.” I do hope they (and other characters from the tourist group) turn up in later stories.

        > Sarah & Zane’s Big Terran Adventure” will be explained more in future yarns. Episode Three of this story arc will have a lot of exposition hammered in. I will have to make sure it’s not done badly.

        So admit that these stories are actually vignettes from a novel, work up an outline for the whole thing, and submit the outline and a couple of your best stories as samples to a publisher! And consider getting an agent, so you don’t get stuck in Slushpile Hell.