Jun 222016

Brazil Just Shot and Killed Its Own Olympic Mascot

Specifically, “Juma,” a 17-year-old endangered jaguar that was trotted out like a prop for a torch ceremony. When returned to its zoo, it escaped, wandered around for a bit, got shot with four tranquilizer darts, and when that didn’t knock it down they upgraded to “solider with a rifle.”

Tell me that this Olympics just looks like a barrel of fun:

Times like this I’m glad I don’t give a rats ass about sports, or otherwise the prospect of having to decide to wander on down to Zikaville to watch some games surrounded by a nation on the brink just might give me heartburn.

 Posted by at 8:02 am
May 272016

A few days ago I stopped by the Cutler Marina and saw a creature in the water. Clearly this was some sort of crypto-beast… maybe a pliosaur, maybe an aquatic sasquatch, probably alien. One of the photos shows an spherical flying object… most likely an alien mothership. Alert the media!

WP_20160523_005 WP_20160523_017 WP_20160523_020 WP_20160523_030

Now I’m off to write a 400-page screed to Alex Jones and begin campaigning for Bernie Sanders.

 Posted by at 9:22 pm
Mar 102016

Back in the day, Christians (and Jews before them, and no doubt a whole bunch of other people) would now and then get tossed into a cage with a lion by the local political system for punishment or entertainment.Over the centuries this has come to be seen not so much as a horrible, stupid thing, but a “wow, aren’t martyrs awesome” thing. And since for some reason some people have gotten it into their heads that martyrdom is something to strive for or emulate, rather than something to be fought till the last, some people have something of a romantic notion about lions. Some people seem to think that God will protect them from lions real and metaphorical if their faith is strong enough.

Some people actually put that to the test. And while these people may very well have extremely strong faith that God will protect them… it’s clear that often enough the lions don’t share that faith. Gentlemen, behold:

Lion nearly killed prophet after botched miracle

The Christian “prophet” saw some lions gnawing upon an impala and decided to dash out of his car and charge towards them. The lions, in turn, decided that the prophet would make a fine snack, and charged towards *him.* The prophet had a sudden moment of clarity, turned, ran back to the car and discovered that lions are *fast.* And, well…

But before he could safely reach the confines of the car, one lion had snapped its paws on him thus causing major damage to his toilet sitting tool.

I’ve never heard of the buttocks referred to as a “toilet sitting tool,” but… well, it’s certainly applicable.

Now, how did the prophet survive? Did a flock of angels descend from Heaven? Did the lions suddenly convert? Nope. The park ranger with the group fired off a firearm, scaring the lions away; *doctors* then patched the guy up. The sciences of metallurgy, chemistry, physics (ballistics) and modern medicine saved the day.

 Posted by at 4:21 pm
Mar 082016

Returning home last night well after sundown, just a few hundred yards from home a dog decided it would be an awesome fun time to dash out into the road right in front of my car. My car had been loaded with stuff like groceries and lumber and such… none of which ended up where I’d originally put it. Good news: my brakes work.


 Posted by at 9:31 pm
Mar 012016

So, here’s a video of a Boston Dynamics “Spot” robot (human controlled, *not* autonomous) interacting with an actual dog. One thing that’s immediately obvious… regardless of how impressive an engineering achievement Spot is, that dog can run circles around it.

Now, I don;t know from dogs. Some people are saying that this is a confused, disturbed or angry dog, challenging the robot to a fight; others suggest that this is a dog trying to get the robot to play with it. I dunno. Now, if in a year or three Boston Dynamics scales Spot down to cat size and has it interact with a cat, I foresee one of two probable outcomes:

  1. The cat just ignores the robot and goes back to sleep
  2. The cat arches its back, hisses, freaks out and runs away

I just don’t see cats ever looking at robots like this as playpals.



 Posted by at 4:39 pm
Feb 232016

A pig hat. It can get ya arrested.

Apparently there are people in the Netherlands who are so incapable of controlling themselves that they’ll turn into murderous ragemonsters if they see a kids pig-hat, and so therefore these terribly provocative bits of apparel must be removed from the public square.

I suddenly wish I owned stock in the company that makes pig hats, because I suspect they’re going to become real popular.

 Posted by at 10:36 pm
Feb 222016

Just brought Raedthinn home from the vet. He is, it seems, All Better… but that came at a substantial cost. In fact, two days at the vet cost more than a months work on USFP01 and USVP01 brought in. Behold:


So… time for another sale. For the next day or two or three, I’m running another Downloadable Stuff Sale. This applies to all APR’s and articles, USxPs, Air & Space Drawings & Documents, ANED01. As per usual… make your purchase using the Paypal buttons, and I’ll refund the sales difference.

Up to $50: 10% off

From $50.01 to $75: 15% off

More than $75: 20% off

UPDATE: Sale has ended as of 2/24/2016


And as always, feel free to toss something into the Tip Jar if’n yer of a mind to:

Feline Tip Jar

 Posted by at 10:47 am