Dec 212018
 

Ten years ago I posted a review of the execrable movie “The Happening.” It was just so very, very wrong on every level.  Today I watched a movie that is quite similar in basic concept, yet is infinitely superior: “The Bird Box,” now out on Netflix.

What both flicks share: there is a mysterious force that is causing people to suddenly suicide themselves to death, and the characters are not the Great Heroes who figure out the thing and solve the problem, but rather are just schmoes trying to survive. But one of the great flaws of “The Happening” is avoided by “The Bird Box:” there’s no explanation made. In TH, the insultingly stupid explanation is that plants are annoyed with humanities hijinks and have spontaneously evolved the ability to emit a Suicide Gas. In TBB, there are some sort of “creatures”that if you look at them, you go buggo and kill yourself. It’s still a silly premise, but it’s wisely a premise that doesn’t get answered. Are the creatures aliens? Demons?  Ghosts? Some escaped bioweapon? It’s left unclear. Since there is no good explanation for such a nonsensical effect, leaving things unexplained is the precisely proper way to go.

TBB does a good job of maintaining an air of doom and horror. Unlike TH, there is a distinct hint of Lovecraftian cosmic horror here: there’s no fighting the monsters, only avoiding them and their influence. The monsters don;t rip and tear; they make people do themselves in. The focus isn’t on showing innovative ways for people to kill themselves, but people being horrified by and confused about what’s going on. Additionally, there is one group of people who are sorta immune: crazy whackos. This fits in with Lovecraft, and is distinctly unhelpful for the survivors. You never see the creatures, but you see how someone who has seen them depicts them… and these images would fit in with the standard mythos critters.

Sandra Bullock is the main character, an uncharacteristically unsympathetic mother-figure. She’s a bit unpleasant as a person and a mother, but not outright villainous… just not the usual perfect person. She ends up with two infants, which in her finite motherhood, names them Girl and Boy… probably because she doesn’t actually expect them to live long in this unfortunate new world, so why get attached?

The basic concept is of course silly, like any supernatural horror movie. But unlike “The Happening,” “The Bird Box” was effective horror and was entirely serious, with little in the way of goofiness.

 

 

 Posted by at 9:34 pm
Dec 212018
 

It’s not being touted as such, but robots such as this European creation could help the US in a number of important ways:

  1. Keeping the ag sector healthy
  2. Eliminating the need and excuses for illegal alien farm labor

This robot picks a pepper in 24 seconds using a tiny saw, and could help combat a shortage of farm labor

There are lots of good reasons to be nervous about robots and computers taking jobs. But taking jobs currently done by illegal aliens? This can only be a good thing.

 Posted by at 8:56 pm
Dec 212018
 

For the surprisingly low buy-it-now price of $255,000.  Might need a little bit of work to make flyable, but chances are real good you’d be the only millionaire on your block with one of these.

http://www.spaceexcess.com/Listing/Details/226030/McDONNELL-220

There is a link there to a Dropbox folder with a bunch of diagrams and photos and whatnot. Most recent photos seem to be from 2015, so, caveat emptor. But imagine the fun you could have if you bought this, restored and completely modernized it… new, better engines, all new electronics and avionics, etc. Originally it had a range of 2300 miles; I imagine you could probably get another 50% at least if you updated the engines. You could probably even delete the outboard nacelles entirely.

 Posted by at 7:23 am
Dec 202018
 

The video below does not contain any of the original video, but rather discusses the content of the original video and asks “why does YouTube allow this channel to remain?” What’s in the original video that’s so objectionable? It’s from the channel of a 15-year-old Chilean kid who posts the usual gaming stuff… except for when he posts videos of himself brutalizing the family cats.

Kids that do this to animals need to be separated from society because it’s not only a certainty that they are already monsters, but it’s a safe bet that they will soon graduate to doing this to humans. Since the kid is in Chile, there’s nothing that US authorities can do. Therefore the question falls to YouTube: y’all banned a gaming channel because it showed violence within the violent game “Red Dead Redemption 2,” and yet you allow a channel to remain up that shows *real* violence? WTF, YouTube?

The Internet is a hellscape of decay and corruption; I’m just glad that, so far, the sensory inputs available online are restricted to sight and sound because I suspect strongly that the web would smell less like a garbage fire and more like a burning septic tank filled with infected decaying flesh. Still in all this misery there is hope in the form of Anonymous and Reddit and 4chan. As bonkers as those folks can often be… ya don’t abuse a cat around ’em. They’ll hound you to the ends of the Earth.

 Posted by at 8:08 pm
Dec 202018
 

There have been a lot of developments recently in the wonderful world of online speech and business that you might expect I’d love to rant and rave about. But I haven’t because… well, who needs *another* target on your back?

But now comes this story about small businesses that do legitimate business through Amazon, then discover just how easy it is for scammers half a world away to ruin or outright steal their business and their brand. And what’s worse, Amazon just doesn’t seem to give a damn, quite probably because there are not enough hours in the day for their limited staff to deal with all the legitimate and fraudulent complaints against sellers, so their default seems to be to nuke small businesses at the first hint of trouble.

Dirty dealing in the world’s biggest marketplace: Amazon

 Posted by at 6:41 pm
Dec 192018
 

I’m pretty sure that the commercials below, showing at least the commercial aspects of the Japanese take on Christmas, would be *exactly* the sort of thing that would drive SJWs up the freakin’ wall if it was, say, white folks in America making commercials about Kwanza or Dia de Muertos (i.e. “Mexican Halloween”). Since Christmas is a “white folks in America and Europe” holiday, I imagine I am, by SJW logic, supposed to be all kinds of upset about this, people from a foreign land taking “my” holiday and turning it into something laughably weird. But you know what? Shrug. You do you, Japan. Tell anyone who whines at you about “cultural appropriation” to cram it where the rising sun don’t shine.

I note a whole lot of Santa Claus, a *vast* amount of commercialism and a surprising number of Xmas Monsters, but I’m not seeing a whole lot of Christ or even Odin or Baldur in this. Again… shrug. The Japanese going gonzo over a weird, mutant version of a traditional Western holiday neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg, but it sure is interesting and weirdifying to watch.

I must admit, the confluence of Christmas, Japanese culture and Kentucky Fricken’ Chicken did make my brain sit on pause for a second or two. At least from these commercials, it would seem that Christmas is fairly big in Japan, which is odd because Christianity isn’t. What would truly weird me out is if Ramadan or Yom Kippur start becoming a big deal over yonder.

That said, there was one part that *did* offend me: the Pizza Hut commercial. What THE HELL is on those pizzas?!?! NOOOOOOO!!!! You’ve ruined pizza forever!!!

 Posted by at 9:17 pm
Dec 192018
 

The trailer for the new reboot of “Hellboy” was released today. It’s clear that they’re not reliant upon the first two movies, but are making this their own thing. I’m uncertain as yet. A whole lot of CGI, rather than the practical effects critters from the first two.

 Posted by at 6:29 pm