Apr 252022
 

 

I have hopes that at least some of these – Star Wars and Star Trek – can be returned from the dead. But to do so would require both a virtually complete change in “leadership” (i.e. those who are currently in charge of the IP’s) and an adequate passage of time. They should be left to sit quietly for a few years, in which time the hatred that recent misadventures have engendered in the fandom could cool off, and better ideas could be gathered.

I remain of the opinion that what the owners of Star Trek need to do are two main things:

1) Gather all the rights back into one place, allowing *real,* and not “25% different,” Star Trek to be made.

2) Create an anthology series. But *not* one helmed by a bunch of suits. Instead, open it to the fandom. Have anything from lone writers to whole amateur production teams (“Axanar,” “Continues,” etc) give them pitches. Those that seem pretty good get funded to make a small number of episodes… one to four, say. Something that could be a series. Then make a season with up to perhaps ten wildly different stories. One set on a ship at the same time as TOS, using actual TOS designs. One set in the movie era. A Klingon or Vulcan-specific yarn. A post-Voyager show. What-the-frell-ever. If, out of those ten shows, one is a smash hit? It gets turned into a full series. If three or four of the stories are wildly popular? Then great, now you can have four series that are popular right out of the gate.

Sure, there are counter-arguments. One big one is that ten wildly different stories would require ten wildly different sets of costumes and props and actors and starship bridge sets. Granted. But: do them sequentially and repurpose as much as possible. Do as much as you reasonably can with virtual sets. Don’t go nuts with the budget; let it be known right up front that the budget for these sort of things is limited. The fandom will accept that, and perhaps embrace it: I will die on the hill that TOS 1701 is the best starship design to date, and that both DS9 and Enterprise showed that the old-school bridge – which can be rented in New York State, IIRC – still looks awesome. You don’t need STD-level production standards for these little mini-shows. Because what you’re selling isn’t the effects; nobody complains that STD or STP have crappy effects and production standards – you’re selling the concept, the characters, the plots. If just one of these lower-budget short subjects knocks the viewers socks off with characters on par with Kirk and Spock and McCoy, *then* you can lavish an effects budget on it reasonably secure in the knowledge that things should go well.

Hell, I even wrote a short story a year or so ago set on a Klingon tugboat. Is it good? Dunno. Probably not. But if those in charge of Star trek seemed like they actually cared about Star Trek again… hell yeah I’d turn it in. There’s even my odd little “Artifact L-374-Alpha” thing from… holy crap, exactly one year ago today. Weird. OK… Anyway, that would likely make a poor basis for an ongoing series, but a season-long miniseries? Maybe.

Is such a thing likely? Sadly, no. So we’ll have to live with murdered franchises for a while, being dangled before us on strings like marionette zombies.

 Posted by at 7:58 pm
Apr 252022
 

… and at the nearest gun store. Something like this, an exceedingly rare complete Borchardt “kit,” would make a fantastic subject for replicas. I have high hopes that 3D metal printing/CNC milling will make replication of odd designs like this possible. It would in no way whatsoever be a practical sidearm; the very first commercial semiautomatic pistol from 1893 can hardly be expected to be capable of comparing with a modern design like the M1911. Still… it’s cool as hell.

 

 Posted by at 9:02 am
Apr 242022
 

An interesting summary of the American career of a Russian-speaking comedian, one Nurlan Saburov. I was previously unaware that there was much of a market in the USA for comedians to come here and go on tour doing their stand-up *in* *Russian,* but live and learn. Saburov is apparently really popular in the Russian-speaking world, and his tour through the USA was scheduled well before Certain Recent Events. But once Certain Recent Events kicked off… Ukrainians in the audience started demanding that he address the Events. It does not go well.

 Posted by at 9:27 pm
Apr 242022
 

This is a strange movie. It’s strange on purpose, though. It is not a fantasy movie like “Conan the Barbarian,” which it has been compared to; but it has a lot of fantastical elements based on Norse spiritualism. Characters get whacked out on shrooms and have visions; Valkyrie show up to carry people to Valhalla; an invasion of a burial mound involves a fight against a draugr; magical seeresses show up and dispense wisdom; dead folk give advice; magical swords. But the way it’s filmed, it can be argued that none of these magical elements are *real,* but instead are the results of imagination and hallucinations.

What’s not hallucination is the rather visceral violence shown. “The Northman” is a violent flick to be sure; lots and lots of people have horrible things happen to them. And most of the people who get hacked and stabbed aren’t villains or warriors, but just regular schmoes who live in a world red in tooth and claw. And that’s not too unrealistic: up until on the order of a century ago most people on this planet could expect to encounter – and perhaps be done in by – violence. The “hero” of the movie is not a saint; he partakes in raids on settlements meant for nothing more noble that stealing people for slaves… and killing their children. He’s not a “good guy,” merely the protagonist. There’s a lot of “Yikes” here.

That said: the movie is in its way damned awesome. The cinematography, the scenery, the badassery and the WFTery are all entertaining as Hel.

It seems unlikely that it’s going to be a blockbuster; it may well not even be a financial success. It cost around $90 million to make, but it has so far made around $12 million (domestically) on the opening weekend. When I saw it on opening day, there were a grand total of three of us in the theater.

Now, one way to determine the value of something is to see who its enemies are. And lo and behold, “The Northman” has people who are opposed to it, as exemplified by this article:

Norse code: are white supremacists reading too much into The Northman?

The problem the author has with the movie is that this movie appeals to “the far right.” That it has Nordic symbols, that the men are masculine, the women feminine, and, perhaps worst of all, a movie set in 9th century Norway, Russia and Iceland features exclusively Scandinavian and Slavic people. Where are the Africans and Indians and Chinese and Mexicans? Not to be seen here… because they didn’t actually exist in 9th century Norway, Russia and Iceland. The author then goes on to say that “The Lord of the Rings” and “Braveheart” are tainted by white supremacy by not having The Narrative-approved stunt casting. The funniest thing of all is that the author despairs that *any* movies might appeal to “the far right,” while apparently either ignoring or perhaps approving of the vast pile of movies and TV shows that are made specifically to appeal to “the far left.” In fact:

By this stage, in fact, film-makers ought to have realised that if the far right doesn’t hate your film, you might be doing something wrong.

A similar hate-piece with a truly entertaining headline:

White supremacists hijack The Northman: Blockbuster starring Nicole Kidman features Nordic lore popular with alt-right groups who hail its ‘all-white cast and pure masculinity’

“Starring Nicole Kidman?” It goes on:

White supremacists have claimed ownership over the new Viking Hollywood blockbuster The Northman, which stars Nicole Kidman and Anya Taylor-Joy.

Ummm… yeah, those two are in it, but neither is the star of the movie. The star of the movie is a *man.* You know… the Northman. This article goes on and on, including tweets from random nobodies, to claim that this movie somehow advocates for Nazism and white supremacy… based on nothing other than the fact it has a bunch of white people in it.

 

A movie that is historically accurate, or accurate to the lore or authorial intent of the original subject, is “catnip” for the far right. This makes it clear that to appeal to the left, a movie should lie, to twist, to distort, to fill itself with leftist propaganda subtle or gross. Perhaps the author should consider that he’s the baddie.

Go see “The Northman” and simultaneously enjoy a few hours and irritate some leftie-loons.

 Posted by at 7:23 pm
Apr 242022
 

Yow. Sounds like a zombie apocalypse. I suspect Certain Politicians in the west are nodding appreciatively and taking notes…

And from earlier:

 Posted by at 3:41 pm
Apr 242022
 

A San Francisco Walgreens. Due to the theft that the local government has enabled, they lock up almost everything behind glass panels. *Almost* everything. Note that the sunscreen in the lower right is left un-locked. Apparently the thieves don’t go after sunscreen.

Don’t you *dare* draw any sort of message from that. Just don’t do it.

 Posted by at 12:48 am
Apr 232022
 

A month or so back I and a group of friends sat down to watch the premiere episode of “Our Flag Means Death,” the “pirate comedy” show from Taika Waititi. The trailers had made it look like it could be a blast, and given its “What We Do In The Shadows” heritage, that seemed a good bet. We shut it off about 2/3 of the way through that first episode, none of us having so much as even considered chuckling at any of it. It was painfully unfunny. We never went back to it, and largely forgot about it. Then I read this today, passed the link along, and we were agreed that we chose correctly in not proceeding. It sounds like it went from “unfunny” to “ummm, no thanks.”

Our Flag Means Death Is Sweet Relief for a Weary Fandom

The “fandom” here are not the kind who might be Star Trek, Star Wars or Dr. Who fans who are annoyed at what recent iterations of those franchises have done. No, the “fandom” here would be those who *like* what has become of those formerly great intellectual properties. You know… not fans of the worldbuilding, but of The Message.

Bleah.

 Posted by at 12:39 am