The Northman

This is a strange movie. It’s strange on purpose, though. It is not a fantasy movie like “Conan the Barbarian,” which it has been compared to; but it has a lot of fantastical elements based on Norse spiritualism. Characters get whacked out on shrooms and have visions; Valkyrie show up to carry people to Valhalla; an invasion of a burial mound involves a fight against a draugr; magical seeresses show up and dispense wisdom; dead folk give advice; magical swords. But the way it’s filmed, it can be argued that none of these magical elements are *real,* but instead are the results of imagination and hallucinations.

What’s not hallucination is the rather visceral violence shown. “The Northman” is a violent flick to be sure; lots and lots of people have horrible things happen to them. And most of the people who get hacked and stabbed aren’t villains or warriors, but just regular schmoes who live in a world red in tooth and claw. And that’s not too unrealistic: up until on the order of a century ago most people on this planet could expect to encounter – and perhaps be done in by – violence. The “hero” of the movie is not a saint; he partakes in raids on settlements meant for nothing more noble that stealing people for slaves… and killing their children. He’s not a “good guy,” merely the protagonist. There’s a lot of “Yikes” here.

That said: the movie is in its way damned awesome. The cinematography, the scenery, the badassery and the WFTery are all entertaining as Hel.

It seems unlikely that it’s going to be a blockbuster; it may well not even be a financial success. It cost around $90 million to make, but it has so far made around $12 million (domestically) on the opening weekend. When I saw it on opening day, there were a grand total of three of us in the theater.

Now, one way to determine the value of something is to see who its enemies are. And lo and behold, “The Northman” has people who are opposed to it, as exemplified by this article:

Norse code: are white supremacists reading too much into The Northman?

The problem the author has with the movie is that this movie appeals to “the far right.” That it has Nordic symbols, that the men are masculine, the women feminine, and, perhaps worst of all, a movie set in 9th century Norway, Russia and Iceland features exclusively Scandinavian and Slavic people. Where are the Africans and Indians and Chinese and Mexicans? Not to be seen here… because they didn’t actually exist in 9th century Norway, Russia and Iceland. The author then goes on to say that “The Lord of the Rings” and “Braveheart” are tainted by white supremacy by not having The Narrative-approved stunt casting. The funniest thing of all is that the author despairs that *any* movies might appeal to “the far right,” while apparently either ignoring or perhaps approving of the vast pile of movies and TV shows that are made specifically to appeal to “the far left.” In fact:

By this stage, in fact, film-makers ought to have realised that if the far right doesn’t hate your film, you might be doing something wrong.

A similar hate-piece with a truly entertaining headline:

White supremacists hijack The Northman: Blockbuster starring Nicole Kidman features Nordic lore popular with alt-right groups who hail its ‘all-white cast and pure masculinity’

“Starring Nicole Kidman?” It goes on:

White supremacists have claimed ownership over the new Viking Hollywood blockbuster The Northman, which stars Nicole Kidman and Anya Taylor-Joy.

Ummm… yeah, those two are in it, but neither is the star of the movie. The star of the movie is a *man.* You know… the Northman. This article goes on and on, including tweets from random nobodies, to claim that this movie somehow advocates for Nazism and white supremacy… based on nothing other than the fact it has a bunch of white people in it.

 

A movie that is historically accurate, or accurate to the lore or authorial intent of the original subject, is “catnip” for the far right. This makes it clear that to appeal to the left, a movie should lie, to twist, to distort, to fill itself with leftist propaganda subtle or gross. Perhaps the author should consider that he’s the baddie.

Go see “The Northman” and simultaneously enjoy a few hours and irritate some leftie-loons.