While driving down the road I had an idea for a comic book. With my luck it’s probably been done, maybe even a few times. But if so… shrug. Not like comic book ideas are all that unique anymore. Anyway, here’s my idea:
The main character(s) is just a guy. An accountant, or an analyst, something like that… boring guy, boring office job, 9 to 5. No superpowers. Not super intelligent or rich. But reasonably intelligent, average basically uninteresting guy who who works in midtown Metropolis. After work he goes to the nearest bar and has a beer or two with a group of his like-mindedly dull co-workers.
So, the world they inhabit is standard dullsville. The closest thing to truly abnormal they’ve got in the news are the stories of that caped weirdo vigilante down in Gotham City, the one with the rogues gallery of equally bizarre villains. But that’s got nothing to do with our guys, except to spice up their conversations from time to time. But by the end of the first issue, something new has appeared in Metropolis: some weird guy in red and blue tights who seems to be able to fly.
In the second issue, people are learning about this “Superman.” Perhaps our main characters see him flash by from time to time. As the months go by they begin to understand his powers: the standard non-insane set of abilities, like great strength, bullet resistance, flight, laser vision, great hearing. But he’s not super smart, not telepathic, not omniscient. So as time goes by our main characters watch as the crime in Metropolis changes. Bank robbers, muggers, back-alley rapists start finding themselves captured. Street level crime goes in two directions: in some ways it fades as criminals decide the risk isn’t worth it; in some ways it goes kinda nuts as muggers decide that the only way to ply their trade is to go about it *fast.* Stab the victim in the back, kill them before they can utter a sound. Higher level criminals start finding their jobs are becoming very risky. And people start to see the rise of “super criminals,” people that commit risky robberies and try, to various degrees of success, to actually counter Superman using crazy technologies and strategems involving threats about hostages and the like. As this goes on our mains learn more about Supermans psychological limits… won’t kill, won’t brutalize or torture, won’t even threaten the bad guys with anything but capture. But on the whole, criminals, including the organized crime families, start to find life becoming very challenging.
So, our main characters being regular people, they shoot the breeze. The local news breathlessly covers the details of every failed criminal caper. And our guys start wargaming the issue: if *you* were a criminal, how would you go about your job with Superman breathing down your neck? Our guys come up with a hundred different plans, and then start working them through. This one fails because of X, that one because of Y. But *this* one… it might work. As time goes on, they keep daydreaming and discussing; the plans get revised and perfected. It’s all in good fun. But they begin to find that their planning of criminal ventures is more exciting, more fulfilling than their actual jobs. How long before they actually try to enact the plan? One day, just for giggles… they do. And they get away with it. It’s nothing spectacular, but they succeed. And Superman never got involved. Their schemes do not involve trying to fight Superman, but to stay below his radar. And with one success, they decide to keep it up. And as time goes by and more super heroes and super villains show up, our accountants keep their enterprise going. While Superman is duking it out with robots made by Lexcorp, our guys are using their knowledge of the systems, coupled with knowledge of history, to successfully rob banks, plunder warehouses, pilfer crime lord mansions. After a few successes they try to focus on robbing from the bad guys of the world, but it’s defined a bit loosely. They use knowledge of successful resistance efforts: the cell system allows them to be several steps removed from the actual crime. They use decoys: they hire and train street thugs to go rob two banks on the same day. Superman can only be in one place at a time, so the first bank robbery is an expendable diversion. The second robbery is *also* a diversion. While Superman is dealing with the robberies and the cops are cleaning up the mess, our heroes are yoinking diamonds out of a storage facility on the far side of town or knocking over a mob boss while making it look like his main rival did it.
For years this goes on, our main characters raking in millions, tens of millions, hundreds of millions, funneling it into untraceable accounts and shell corporations. They live well, but not so well that even the IRS notices. Instead of living like Kingpin, they live a decent life happy in the knowledge that the money they’ve stolen has funded that private Mars colony, or built a dozen hospitals, or endowed five new major universities, or overthrown a half dozen corrupt Marxist dictatorships. They end up going to work for corporation that they just happen to own and run, though nobody can prove it.. or even suspects it.
The main characters start out as utterly boring complete nobodies. And years later they are, to all appearances, still that. But they’ve led a massive criminal enterprise directly under Supermans nose. They are technically bad guys. So given “Cuties” this should be the sort of thing Netflix should stand ready to throw a few dozen million dollars at to get made. Hell, SyFy: y’all actually wasted *how* *much* making “Vagrant Queen,” a TV series based on a comic book that sold *hundreds* of issues? I take cash, checks, PayPal.
©, baby!