After some study, it turns out tha tthe “Chinese mystery seeds” that people were recieving ws a much bigger issue than originally thought. *Thousands* of Americans got them in the mail. And hundreds of Americans proved that voting-by-mail was a bad idea and that voting machines should come with some sort of automated tests to prove that you are smart enough to know not to *eat* friggen mystery seeds form an antagonist nation.

Hundreds of Americans Planted ‘Chinese Mystery Seeds’

Assuming the article is accurate (hey, it’s “Vice,” best to remain skeptical), tens of thousands of Americans received packages of mystery seeds. The consensus seems to be that this was a scam meant to generate five-star reviews; I remain fuzzy on just how that’s supposed to work, but ok, whatever. Let’s assume that it was just a *relatively* harmless scam, and not a more insidious plot to sow blights, invasive species or genetically engineered monsters into the American ecosystem. But this scan showed that such a plot could well work. Lots of people just went ahead and behaved foolishly with these seeds.

Americans need to be more skeptical. Americans need to be more paranoid and distrusting, especially of anyone associated with communism.