So a day or two back I visited a Barnes & Noble bookstore. One of the endcaps was covered with an array of woo-peddling nonsense, but one book truly caught my eye:
Next the the numerology handbook, sure to aid the idiots in your life to make their decision making processes that much less sensible, is “Hexing the Patriarchy.” Unsurprisingly, this book is available on Amazon, which provides this description:
Skeptics might think witchcraft is nothing more than a fad, but make no mistake: modern witches aren’t playing around. Today’s wizarding women are raising hell, exorcising haters, and revving up to fight fire with a fierce inferno of magical outrage.
Magic has always been a weapon of the disenfranchised, and in Hexing the Patriarchy, author Ariel Gore offers a playbook for the feminist uprising. Full of incantations, enchantments, rituals, and witchy wisdom designed protect women and bring down The Man, readers will learn how to . . .
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- Make salt scrubs to wash away patriarchal bullshit
- Mix potions to run abusive liars out of town
- Use their bare hands and feet to vanquish bro culture
- Conjure dead relatives to help smash the system
This. Is. AWESOME.
If “the patriarchy” was actually a real thing, it could not come up with a better weapon to defend itself from “strong independent women” than to convince the opposition to rely on magical bullcrap. An opponent who relies on nonsensical woo rather than things that actually work is a much less effective opponent.
I recommend giving this book – or any of the wide range of similarly self-defeating titles available (such as “Revolutionary Witchcraft: A Guide to Magical Activism” and “Becoming Dangerous: Witchy Femmes, Queer Conjurers, and Magical Rebels“) to the gullible lefties in your life. Especially those who you think might, absent this “wisdom,” actually have some modest success in the political sphere.
Granted, it would be better if you didn’t actually spend money to procure these books. Perhaps they could be conjured out of thin air. Or… simply pass on the links, and let the opposition spend their own money to make themselves dumber.
The important trick, of course, will come after the immediate battle is over. After the socialists and commies and fascists and all the other far lefties render themselves irrelevant by relying upon magic rather than reason, it will be important for reason to not only emerge victorious, but to wipe the field clean of the stain of this superstitious ᚷᚩᛞᛞᚪᛗᚾᛖᛞ ᚠᚢᚳkᛁᚾᚷ ᛒᚢᛚᛚᛋᚻᛁᛏ. Allowed to gain purchase, this rubbish will lead directly either to a dark age… or to Chinese domination of the entire planet and the closing down of the era of western civilization.