A few days ago, a blog reader sent me an advance copy of an e-book he’s going to self publish for my review and comments. Without getting into specifics (no spoilers!) the book is a long poem that points out how long ago the future involved children dreaming of going to the moon, and how now, generations later, none of those children ever could have gone to the moon. Gosh, I can’t for the life of me comprehend why anyone would ever think that *I* would have anything to say on the subject…
Anyway, something that struck me right off was that the book seemed like it would have made a great satire of the old “Little Golden Books” that many of us had as kids. In pondering it, it seemed to me that a whole line of such books could be produced. Now, I’ve got *zero* ability to produce the sort of art that these books use, and I’m almost certainly the absolutely wrongiest of wrong people to try to crank out the rhymes and such for such books. But I came up with a few possible titles. If anyone wants to run with these… go for it. Just don’t forget to give me a cut…
“No, You Will Never Be President”
“The Ugly Ducking Who Grew Up To Be An Ugly Duck”
“My Little Doldrum Book Of Genocide”
“Nobody Loves Little Jonny”
“Get Ready For A Lifetime Of Student Debt and Social Security Payments”
“You’re Not Special”
“The Bullies Usually Win”
“My First Book of Nazi War Atrocities”
“You’re To Blame For Everything: A Little Doldrum Book of White Guilt”
“We Could Have Had The Stars: A Little Doldrum Book of Anti-Nuclear Activism”
“Mom’s An Anti-Vaxxer”
“The Happy Little Airplane Grounded By The GND”
“Daddy Drinks Because Of You”
“Heat Death or Big Rip: A Little Doldrum Book Of The End Of The Universe”
“Beauty Matters, And You Don’t Have It”
“Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny And Friends: A Little Doldrum Book Of Lies Your Parents Tell You”