Remember this posting from just a few days ago?
Convicted Thief Sues Store He Robbed
Sure, of course you do. One of my recommendations in that award-worthy screed was the adoption of the SSS mindest:
Shoot.
Shovel.
Shut up.
<> Here’s an example from across the pond in Ol’ Blighty that shows that even more than Americans, the Brits *really* need to man up and adopt the SSS philosophy:
Gardeners banned from using barbed wire in case they hurt vandals
Gardeners have been banned from using barbed wire to stop allotment vandals – in case the yobs hurt themselves.
The council blocked the allotment holders’ bid to increase security because it was afraid the criminals would sue.
Property has been damaged up to three times a week at the Muddy Bottom East Allotment in Southampton. In one attack 15 sheds were smashed, water butts overturned and taps left running.
Now, some solutions present themselves as being pretty much self-evident. This is a garden, after all, with all the tools and requirements that come with it. If said intruder gets fed into a wood chipper and converted into mulch for the gardens, there are several clear positives:
1) No lawsuits
2) Free fertilizer
3) Improved gene pool
Now, if’n yer squeamish about wood chippers, or one simply isn’t available, there are other options, such as deadfalls. Dig a nice deep pit (say, 8-10 feet) and cover it with sticks, a tarp, whatever, then cover *that* with leaves or some other form of inconspicuous ground cover. Vandal sneaks in, steps on the deadfal, and *splat,* down he goes. You can then either refill the hole, or, perhaps better, put a small fence around the hole and charge admission to the local children to come and laugh at him down in the pit. Since it’s a garden, you’ll probably have some rotten veggies lying around; charge a small sum for these for the kids to hurl at the trapped dumbass.
But if you’re just not in the mood for all the effort, there’s always this:
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