Fingers came into this house as an adult semi-wild rural farm cat, and as a result has never been what you’d call domesticated. She tolerates me well enough; on occasion she rubs up against me and even hops into my lap for *brief* scratchings, but she cannot abide any other human. She promptly hides if there’s a visitor or even a package left at the door, and when taken to the vet goes into a panicky frenzy. What she *did* like was Raedthinn.
I think I’ve made it pretty plain over the years that my cat Fingers *really* had a thing for Raedthinn. She was quite pushy with her physical affection for him… she wasn’t satisfied with laying next to him, she wanted to be on him, often kneading him. Many’s the time I was in the living room writing or CAD’ing when something would intrude into my consiousness and I’d come to and wonder “WTF is *that,*” then realize that it was the sound of Fingers purring at *extreme* volume several rooms away as Raedthinn deigned to give her attention, sometimes even licking her head. In those moments, she was joy personified. Something Fingers has never done is purr away from Raedthinn, except for a few rare instances when she hopped up on *me* and purred in response to head scratchings.
So I’ve been keeping a close eye on Fingers these past few days. I’ve been wondering just when it’ll hit her that Raethinn is gone, and what she’ll do when she figures out she’ll never see him again. Of course, does a cats mind even work that way? Does she remember him as a human would, or is Raedthinn only a vague concept in her little head? Does she understand the concept of “gone” and “never again?” It is of course impossible to say.
So… last night, it dawned on me that she was curled on on Raedthinns favorite corner of the bed. Purring.
She was in his spot, where he often hung out, which undoubtedly still carries his smell. Was she imagining that he was there? Was she purring in hopes that that would entice him to come back from wherever he’s hiding? Purring is often seen in badly injured cats; it’s thought that the action of purring releases dopamine to help ease pain. So perhaps she was purring as a way to grieve a loss she does not understand.
