What Would Jesus Drive?

An eBay auction for a 1990 Mercedes-Benz E-Class 2.6.

Owner’s Belief: he’s a descendant of Roman Emperors, and just as well Jesus Christ (what’s that worth?!)
He’s written over 180 reasons why he thinks this is true (he’ll provide a copy – over nine pages hand written – to you with your nonrefundable deposit of at least 25% towards the purchase of the vehicle, and thus subsequent agreement hereto of 2% royalties of Gross Sales Revenue, assumable-indefinitely-transferal, to the Owner herein in the event of authorized or unauthorized publication). Come on… Muhammad has descendants… it’s not that big of a deal. And yes, the owner thanks the Roman Catholic Church for keeping Christ’s descendants protected through the obliteration veil (how would you treat Jesus Christ’s children? In effect through Jesus Christ’s teaching, we’re all God’s children).

SERIOUS OFFERS ONLY
Dear blessed Millionaire: just think of this purchase as giving back to God’s children and works as a form of tithing. The owner promises to put the money to good use (Real Estate Development blessed in Jesus Christ’s name).

Sure. Why not? Let me check my wallet. I’m sure the collectors value for a car driven by the descendant of Christ aught to be pretty good.