Well, this is just super. On January 1, 2019, the New Horizons probe will pass remarkably close to Kuiper Belt Object 2014 MU69, a chunk of something about 19 to 28 miles across. Telescopic examination has shown it to be reddish, redder than the splotches on Pluto and Charon. The scienticians will tell you that the redness is due to the presence of tholins, reddish-brown chemicals produced when simple organic molecules like methane are exposed to ultraviolet light. But come on, we all know the score… this is a chunk of frozen blood left out in deep space by the fungi from Yuggoth or Yog Sothoth or the Ogdru Jahad or Scientologists. The only question is, what’s the blood *from?* Will New Horizons provide the answer… and will that forbidden knowledge drive everyone *insane?* Personally, I suspect not. The flyby won’t occur until 2019… by which time I expect that the Earth will be a smoking radioactive ruin. Nobody will be manning the radio receivers to hear what New Horizons has to say. Those few who survive will be too busy trying to scratch a living out of the blasted Earth under a smoke and ash filled sky, daily battling hordes of mutated social justice zombies and Kardashidemons.
