May 272016
A few days ago I stopped by the Cutler Marina and saw a creature in the water. Clearly this was some sort of crypto-beast… maybe a pliosaur, maybe an aquatic sasquatch, probably alien. One of the photos shows an spherical flying object… most likely an alien mothership. Alert the media!
Now I’m off to write a 400-page screed to Alex Jones and begin campaigning for Bernie Sanders.