First up:

Emoji-filled email from third grader prompts Pueblo school scare

In short… a little kid sent a message filled with random symbols, and the school and a bunch of parents freaked the frak out. Around 200 students were pulled out of school the next day.

And then there’s this perennial favorite:

Schools continue to grapple with ‘Huckleberry Finn’

Which includes this glittering nugget:

This week, a Montgomery County school removed Huckleberry Finn from its curriculum after a group of students said the book made them uncomfortable.

Gah. Algebra made me uncomfortable back in the day, but the school made me take it. Bullets made my Dad uncomfortable back in the sixties, but that didn’t stop the Army from shipping him off to Nam. If we’re to the point that *words* that make kids uncomfortable is cause enough to neuter their educations, we’re pretty much doomed.

And then there’s this (irrelevant, but approximately equally stupid):

Man lying in road hit by car

at least he wasn’t hit by a car while lying on the sidewalk. The cops suggest, rather startlingly, that alcohol might have been involved.