So it seems we have yet another exciting new problem on the southern border: an invasion of illegal alien *children.* And in incredibly large numbers:
U.S. authorities estimate that between 60,000 and 80,000 children without parents will cross the border this year alone.
Since they are illegals, the plan is to deport them. But I have a better idea: the US Janissary Corps.
For those over the age of, say, 13, we send trained professionals through this mass of invading children and search for useful talent then deport the rest. But those 12 and under become wards of the State. They will be taken to special bases in the south and southwest, there to be raised, indoctrinated and trained as a large military force. The indoctrination, which will be pervasive and will last for years, will turn them into rabid devotees of The American Way, and rabid opponents of the cheap warlords and dictators so common in central and south America. Then, after a large enough force of them is adequately trained and of age, we send them back south.
Many of these kids come from Guatemala. The White House and others are claiming that the reason for the flood is because of the violent conditions there. Fine. Well, if 60,000 minors invade the US annually, and we catch maybe 20,000 of them, and are able to utilize half of them… then that’s a force of 10,000 per year. After a half dozen years or so, a force of 60,000 Janissary infantry invading Guatemala would probably be enough to do a hell of a job of conquering the place, followed by an extra 10,000 every year.
Long term, the Janissaries role would be to invade, conquer and overthrow central and south American banana republics. The Janissaries would, in recognition of their service, be given land grants in the conquered lands based on performance and years of service.
The program could of course be expanded. Not all illegal alien children are unaccompanied; some rather large number come here, and are apprehended, with their families. Those under six or so can be separated from the families and raised for the next dozen years in the Janissary Corps, while their families are deported. These particular Janissaries would be tasked specifically with the invasion of their original homelands. Thus they, after the conquest, pacification, re-education and reformation of their homelands, would be able to reunite with their families.
The knowledge that their own children are being raised into a sizable invading and conquering force might itself be enough to convince some of these nations that they need to get their act together. If they figure their problems out and fix them enough so that the flood of refugees dries up.. well, they’ll not be under much of a threat of conquest, will they?
The Janissary Corps would not be regular US military, and would of course be filled with non-US citizens (though they would all be brought up to have a strong appreciation of US culture and ideals). The conquered lands would not be annexed by the US and would pay no tribute to the US; they would simply be given new management. Management devoted to ending the cycle of corruption that has let Latin America squander its promise.
So… objections? Additions? Modifications?