Muslim family’s fury after Morrisons sold them cheese and onion pasty with non-halal meat in it… then offered them ALCOHOL as an apology

The short form translation: a “pasty,” which I gather is something of a third-world version of a proper Hot Pocket, was sold by a branch of the “Morrisons” food retailer and was mislabeled. It was supposed to have cheese and onions, but instead had beef and potatoes. This apparently caused a problem for the family that bought it, because they’re not supposed to eat meat that was not produced by having some sort of witch doctor yammer spells over the still-living food critter as he stabbed it to death. As a result of this magical outrage, the patriarch of the family called the manager of the store in question, and was further outraged that the manager, who apparently is not well-versed in every form of superstition that lurks in every corner of the planet, tried to make amends by offering a free bottle of champagne. And it turns out *that* was a problem, because the family is prohibited from consuming ethyl alcohol because fark you, that’s why.

Here’s a hint, kids: we’re out of the Dark Ages. It’s time to grow up and realize that some half-baked thaumaturge muttering spells and incantations over your food isn’t going to help you any. Chanting “ala kazam” as you slaughter a cow isn’t going to change the nature of the eventual hamburger. Nor will it turn carbohydrates into protein or sugar and ethyl alcohol into albumin and hemoglobin.