Babbage builders turn down Kickstarter

For those unaware, the Babbage Analytical Engine was a design for a mechanical computer, circa 1837. Had it been built, and had it avoided almost-certain breakdowns, it would have been monstrously complex, but also probably spectacularly valuable to the field of mathematics, or any field that would require an actual computer. In a wholly non-shocking twist of fate, the Analytical Engine was never finished due to financial and personality issues, not technological… it probably would have worked.

The analytical engine would have been a true programmable computer, using punch cards to input basic mathematical instructions and data. It would have been something of the pinnacle of Victorian technology, and would have fit into the steampunk stereotype perfectly… a steam-powered machine of steel and brass, clacking away in a dimly lit environment using mechanisms derived from the automated looms of the time.

When I gain dictatorial power, I am going to direct that Babbage Analytical Engines be put into mass production, and used in place of electronic computers at all offices meant to “run things.”