In the vast pile of magical thinking that people have dreamed up over the millenia, “Onomancy” is the belief that you can figure something out about someone by using their name in divination. Aslo, people have believed that if you find out someone’s “true name,” you can develop some form of power over them. And of course as we all know, Muad’Dib is a killing name.

In recent years we have dropped a lot of this sort of belief, though perhaps not entirely: you might not be able to do much to me just by knowing my name, but if I posted my Social Security Number, I bet I’d be financially ruined by nightfall. And people online often choose usernames that hide their “true names,” perhaps not for magical reasons, but for reasons of protecting privacy. Still, it takes a special kind of Herp and Derp to see any sense in this news story:

Deaf boy’s name violates weapons policy: School

Short form: the family of a deaf three-year old in Nebraska was asked by his preschool to change his name. Why? His name is “Hunter,” and the sign for his name is a “shooting gesture,” with the fingers crossed to show that it’s a proper name. Why is this a problem? Because the school bans anything that looks like a weapon.

After the current school board either gets fired or voted out (come on, these are *Nebraskans,* not a bunch of wilting violet New Yorkers who freak out over guns or 44-ounce Pepsis), hopefully they’ll be replaced with a board that takes this as a “teachable moment” and institutes firearms training in grade school. A number of firearm options are available.