The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints – also and more succinctly known as “the Mormons” – has a practice of baptizing dead folk into their religion. If memory serves, there’s something about the need to have your whole family – and that means ancestors too – baptized or else you don’t get the keys to the executive bathroom in Heaven, or something.Additionally, according to the Mormons you apparently can’t get into Heaven unless’n you’ve been baptized, so doing baptisms for the dead can obviously be seen as doing a nice thing for all those dead folks who are lurking about in limbo or purgatory or New Jersey or Hell or wherever it is the unbaptized go.
Nevertheless, some people have taken issue with this practice. You know, Jews and Catholics and such. For my own part, if someone wants to post-mortem baptize me into any religion… what would I care? Being dead and all, I kinda doubt that such things make any difference. Kinda like wondering whether the number “zero” cares if you suddenly decide to start calling it “Ralph” instead.
Still, some people are miffed about the whole thing. And so, you can now convert your favorite dead Mormons to “gay.”
All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay
Simply enter the name of your favorite dead Mormon* in the form below and click Convert! Presto, they’re gay for eternity. There is no undo.
*Holocaust victims are not eligible for conversion.
