Armenian police target teenage rock cult
Her offence was simply to be a devoted follower of the angst-ridden punk-rock subculture known as ’emo’, in an ex-Soviet state where pressures to conform remain strong.
Police in Yerevan have been conducting a campaign against the capital’s small but controversial emo community since the recent suicides of two teenagers who were rumoured to have been emo fans.
In a recent newspaper interview, Armenia’s Chief of Police, Alik Sarkisian, claimed that emo could “damage our gene pool”. “We should fight against such phenomena because they are morally harmful to our people,” he said.
Masha and her friend Ani, also 13, say they started dressing in the unconventional emo style in an attempt to stand out from what they call “the grey masses”.
Ugh.
The “emo” sub-culture amuses me to no friggen’ end. A weird-ass combination of trying to turn angst, sadness and depression into a fashion uniform, while at the same time claiming individuality and decrying conformity in others. Snerk. Couple that with the astonishing ease with which “emo” and “Hitler” work together, graphically, and you have the ultimate in ridiculous trendiness. Hell, any fashion trend that tends to involve the males putting on eye shadow and other makeup is headed straight towards mockery.
Still, the Armenian governmental response to this is ridiculous in it’s own hilariously ill-conceived way. Emos thrive on the collective notion that they are outcasts… sending the cops to leer at ’em like TSA junk-jugglers is only going to reinforce the belief.
Hey, kids, a little advice from your uncle Scott: if you want to be all sad and depressed, go for it. Life, after all, is pain… a series of failures and disappointments, crushed dreams and lost opportunities, that stack up until you finally keel over with a last thought rattling through your head “well, that was a waste of time.” But focussing on all that as a *negative,* while it may provide amusement for others, is going to stand in the way of making fun of all that and laughing in the face of doom. So go wash off the black makeup and have a Happy Meal. At the end, when the wings fall off your jetliner and all the other passengers are screaming in terror, be the one throwing your hands in the air and yelling “Wheeeeeee!!!!”
7 Responses to “Go Cry, Emo Kidian”
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The headline “Armenian police target teenage rock cult” caused me to ask first what sort of rock might be central to what passes for the personality of a teenager: did they adopt chunks of granite as a talisman of being themselves?
Scott, your last paragraph there is perfect advice. I think I’ll send it to my two kids (both of whom are out of danger and over 25); sometimes they need to hear someone outside make sense. Thanks.
> your last paragraph there is perfect advice
Of *course* it is. Now, if only *I* coudl follow it all the time. Most of the time I do, but sometimes it piles up pretty deep, and gets kinda hard to laugh at.
Still, when it comes down to it, there are a few lines I’ve always taken to heart. Oddly enough they were written by a Christian appologist, CS Lewis, who’s other writings I’ve generally found silly, goofy or downright *wrong.* Somehow he came up with this:
Think, then, that under heaven-roof the little disc of the earth,
Fortified Midgard, lies encircled by the ravening Worm.
Over its icy bastions faces of giant and troll
Look in, ready to invade it. The Wolf, admittedly, is bound;
But the bond will break, the Beast run free. The weary gods,
Scarred with old wounds the one-eyed Odin, Tyr who has lost a hand,
Will limp to their stations for the Last defence. Make it your hope
To be counted worthy on that day to stand beside them;
For the end of man is to partake of their defeat and die
His second, final death in good company. The stupid, strong
Unteachable monsters are certain to be victorious at last,
And every man of decent blood is on the losing side.
Take as your model the tall women with yellow hair in plaits
Who walked back into burning houses to die with men,
Or him who as the death spear entered into his vitals
Made critical comments on its workmanship and aim.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/cliche-came-out-of-its-cage/
It seems to me that “Emo,” along withy several other fashionable trends, is making a fetish of misery. Granted, much of it has little enough to do with misery. Some people just like the look, I suppose, and a lot of others just want a group to belong to, and misery is easy. But look, come on. We’re all going to die. It’s inevitable. Most of us will not die surrounded by loved ones in a beautiful moment of peace and love; for most, it will come as a rather sudden surprise, or will take place after a protracted, painful and lonely struggle in some horrible hospital or nursing home. Some of us will die utterly alone… out in the wilderness, or at home after a heart attack or a fall down the stairs, with nobody around to notice or give a damn. And then we’d all better hope that that’s the end, that nothing but oblivion awaits, because if the monotheistic religions got it right, we’re pretty much all aimed straight into Hell because we didn’t believe quite the right thing in quite the right way.
So, I see two sane options:
1) Extract what joy out of life you can while you can.
2) If you can’t extract much joy out of life… try to laugh at it anyway. Spit in the eye of destiny. Go down swinging. Make your mark on the world… if that means whacking it with a club, then choose a good one like a hammer or a Louisville Slugger.
Emo sounds like the non-conformist Goth Kids out of South Park who all dress the same way. 😀
As far as Lewis’ inspiring Vikings go, their funeral rites were sure interesting: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norse_funeral
I remember my grandfather on my dad’s side of the family saying that
someone he knew “got a bang out of life”. I agree you should sometimes.
Seriously not funny not funny at all (the grass joke)
A self-professed emo declares a joke non-funny. That must mean it’s funny.
This is absolutely not funny, why would you even do this.jokes about rasicm and other stuff like that are not allowed, but jokes about this oh no nothing wrong woth that it’s thejr own fault.