Jun 152010
 

There are a lot of tacky, ostentatious displays of overt religiosity in the United States. For some reason, people just like to put their faith on display… something that Jesus feller had something to say about. One of the better known examples of pure tackiness is the “Touchdown Jesus,” a large statue outside the Solid Rock megachurch near Monroe, Ohio, near Interstate 75. And by “large” I mean “42 foot span between the upraised hands.” It was constructucted of an inner steel support structure covered in sculpted styrofoam, with a thin cladding of fiberglass over that.

And by “was constructed, ” I mean, “on the night of June 14, 2010, it was struck by lightning and the styrofaom and fiberglass burned to ash leaving only a scorched inner steel structure.”

Ooops.

shitsonfireyo.jpg

What’s left has been dubbed the “Terminator Jesus,” for obvious reasons.

Well, that’s gotta be embarassing.

While getting struck and destroyed by lightning is certainly one of the more entertainingly ironic ends for this stature of Jesus, it seems to me that it was a doomed structure from the get-go. A giant outdoor construction made of styrofoam? A thin cladding of fiberglass exposed to the elements 24 hours a day, 364 days a year? Yeah, that’s not exactly the hallmark of a statue built for the ages. Sunlight is quite good as caused the resins in fiberglass to decompose and turn to mush, a process aided by water and especially the freeze/thaw cycle. And exposed styrofoam… hell, it’ll erode away in a mild wind.

If there’s anything worse than “tacky,” it’s gotta be “huge tacky.” And worse than that must be “huge CHEAP tacky.”

He is risen!

Seen nonchalantly wandering away, whistling a tune…

 Posted by at 8:11 am

  17 Responses to “Jesus Status: Smoten”

  1. I think the statue was epic tacky. Consider that if the lightning had not hit the statue, it would have hit the building. The thing should be easy enough to rebuild. Maybe they can order one from China.

  2. Snerk.

    Can’t remember where, but a few years ago, there was “Giant Butter Jesus”.

  3. Same Jesus. “Big Butter Jesus” because of the off-white color of the fiberglass. There’s a song to that effect on YouTube.

  4. And it was a HUGE lightning rod!

  5. You say that like it’s something they should have thought of *before* they wrapped a tall, thin conductive steel structure with large quantities of flamable foam.

  6. You say that like it’s something they should have thought of *before* they wrapped a tall, thin conductive steel structure with large quantities of flamable foam.

    “Jesus is on fire.”
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUZ3d1tTbWg

  7. This incident has just re-established my belief in God. 🙂
    Like Mark Twain said: “It’s not that there are so many bad people in the world, it’s just that the lightning is so poorly distributed.”
    In this case, apparently they finally went _too_ far.
    …and here comes Mexican Soccer Jesus:
    http://www.aolnews.com/weird-news/article/meet-mexicos-soccer-baby-jesus/19513026

  8. 42′ span? Gee whiz, maybe it committed tackiness-induced suicide.

    Jim

  9. That’s a great idea for “Burning Man” They could ignite it with a giant Van de Graff

  10. Or attack it on the giant riding trilobites:
    http://laughingsquid.com/the-electrobite-olenoides-a-trilobite-vehicle/
    In revenge for God making all the prehistoric sea creatures drown in The Great Flood.

  11. Huh! I wondered where that was this year on the annual I-75 Pilgrimage to Wonderfest. I did not think I could have missed it going both ways. I used to like to point when I saw it and scream “Jesus Christ!” is sheer terror. 🙂

  12. Oh wait. It wasn’t burned yet! Duh! I did miss it. Must have been due ot the torrential downpours that weekend.

  13. This is a sign that the Christian religion is misguided and very wrong and we have been deceived by our religious scholars. They have changed the truth of the word god with words of their hearts tend to be wrong. So very different from the religion of Islam which books they’d never be changed by the experts of their religion. When we prove the book turns out they are more scientific than the gospel.

    Admin’s note: Spam? Almost certainly. But amusing in it’s gibberishness.

  14. “Obama Says…”

    OMG, does this mean Obama is a Muslim after all?!?

  15. It seems that the whole fire event has initiated the flood of donations. They are going to rebuild this ridiculous object, and this time could even afford Jesus’s legs to make it twice as big.

  16. > make it twice as big.

    That would be *awesome.* Because then it woule be, what, four times as vulnerable to wind and lightning?

    “SUNDAYSUNDAYSUNDAY! At the Solid Rock megachurch, the battle of the ages!!! Bigger Butter Jesus vs the F3 Tornado!!!”

  17. Are they rebuilding it?

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