Mar 242024
 

A few days ago someone on twitter repeated some nonsense that getting irritated about canon violations in, say, Star Trek was a sign that you’re kinda dumb, because canon is an impediment to writers who want to tell stories. Well, guess what: established canon is an impediment to only one kind of writer: the lazy kind.

 

Establishing canon can sometimes take a while. Take Star Trek: if you look at the early years, canon was quite mutable. Who did the crew of the Enterprise work for? It seemed to change from time to time. Starfleet, of course… but then also the United Earth Space Probe Agency and later the United Federation of Planets. Klingons went from shiny dark humans with a vaguely Soviet-style totalitarian dictatorship, to bumpy-headed high-tech barbarians with a focus on fun, honor and bloodshed. But these things are *now* well established, and have been literally for generations. Changing them is changing the established rules.

 

And the thing is, established rules are a *good* thing for storytellers. Yes, they constrain storytelling possibilities, but they force the storyteller to be cleverer than if the rules didn’t exist. And the *vast* majority of the time storytellers accept that rules are there and are good. Imagine what nonsense you’d get in a medical show where medicine had no relation to reality. Aspirin cures cancer. Broken bones are set with a smoldering look from Doctor Hearthrob. AIDS is cured by popping the infected into a microwave oven for three minutes on high. Two seasons back, Doctor Heartthrob won a Nobel Prize for curing Type 1 diabetes with a combination of oatmeal and Tea, Earl Gray, Hot. But now, Type 1 diabetes is wholly incurable and causes the sufferers to spontaneously combust with no reference to the prior treatments. This would be bafflingly stupid unless set as some sort of “Naked Gun” style absurdist comedy.

Imagine a legal/lawyer show where the law had no relation to real-world law. A cop show where cops could simply walk through walls, or where once confronted criminals instantly changed their ways. A western set in 1872 New Mexico with Nazis and an invasion of blimp-borne Samurai played straight, or where the cowboys dealt not only with cattle but an infestation of kangaroos and velociraptors. Come on, cowboys vs dinosaurs sounds fun, right? But if the show isn’t sci-fi or fantasy, having the cowboys, who pack Glocks and drink Bud Light from aluminum cans and ride carbon fiber racing bicycles, just wouldn’t make sense. A sitcom set in a penthouse apartment established as 60+ stories high overlooking Central Park, but the apartment door sometimes opens into the hallway, sometimes the elevator, sometimes the roof, sometimes right onto the street…and sometimes that street is in San Francisco or London. It’s either absurdist… or it’s lazy and stupid.

 

If you want to change the rules you’d best have a good reason. It can be done. Hell, “Young Sheldon” recently changed years of established “Big Bang Theory” canon in a smart way that made things not only make more sense, but made people happy. It was long ago established that as a child Sheldon Cooper had walked in on his dad cheating on his mom with another woman. The sight disturbed, upset and changed Sheldon, and ruined his view of his dad. In the “Young Sheldon” show, the dad has been portrayed as a great guy who was not the cheating type, though tempted from time to time. And they finally got to the moment: Sheldon walked in on Dad and Other Woman. But it turns out Other Woman was actually Mom, who was dressed up in a sort of cosplay. Sheldon simply didn’t recognize her. He misinterpreted. Canon has been changed without actually changing canon.

But the current crop of writers for Star trek, Star Wars, Doctor Who, Rings of Power, etc. do not seem to be either willing or able to navigate their way through established canon. And rather than write compelling, clever stories within the rules… they simply steamroll the rules, often for ideological reasons.

In Star Trek, it’s long established that 23rd century medicine is damn near magical in it’s ability to fix both physical and mental damage. So wouldn’t *have* characters who were delusional to the point of insanity, or trundling around the decks in a wheelchair. But in the name of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion, the fact of 23rd Century medicine is simply ignored in favor of The Message.

So you end up with this nonsense:

on

It adds nothing to the story to have Wheelchair Guy. It doesn’t make sense. It yeets the viewer right out of it if they consciously recognize that it’s wrong; if they don’t consciously recognize it, there is still the subtle, unconscious Uncanny Valley-esque sense of something being not right.

Canon isn’t a problem. Canon is *good.* If you don’t like the canon, if the canon gets in the way of the story you want to tell, there are good ways to deal with it:

1) Write a different story.

2) Change your canon-busting story to fit a different property. That apartment with the wacky door? Change it from straight sitcom to a Doctor Who offshoot.

3) Come up with a *clever* way to change the canon. You have a propulsion system vastly better than warp drive for your Star Trek ships? Great. Set it in the *future* of established Trek, not the past.

 Posted by at 2:24 pm
Mar 212024
 

Well, hell. Vernor Vinge has died.

Some years back he read some of my sci-fi stories (specifically my first novel) and suggested that I could/should get published. Turns out he was wrong on that score (couldn’t get any agent to actually read the damn thing), but for a brief moment a pro gave me hope.

 

Vernor Vinge, science fiction writer and creator of the concept of the technological singularity, has died at the age of 79.

 Posted by at 7:38 pm
Mar 172024
 

Giggity:

And…

 

Said it before: this is some sci-fi stuff right here.

 

From one perspective, this was another failure. The booster failed at the end… it had difficulty with engine restart for the final landing burn and either kerploded just before hitting the water, or smacked into the water going *real* fast. Starship itself broke apart during entry. So both recoverable stages failed to demonstrate recoverability. But it *did* achieve the low orbit that was intended. It demonstrated the ability to serve as an expendable launch vehicle. An incredibly capable expendable launch vehicle, much more powerful than even the Saturn V. It could start throwing massive payloads into orbit even while attempting to perfect recovery. Large numbers of Starlinks, of course… but also large numbers of, say, Brilliant Pebbles, or tanks of water, or rolls of sheet aluminum and beam builders and PV arrays.

 

 Posted by at 5:08 pm
Mar 062024
 

But not on ebay yet. If any of these are of interest, let me know.

 

 

 Posted by at 12:26 pm
Feb 262024
 

Slightly over 4 years ago I yammered a bit about a game company called “Evil Hat” that was putting out a Lovecraftian game while not only hating Lovecraft but also *intentionally* not understanding the idea:

 

“I want your business”

Making a *huge* point about bashing the creator of the IP you’re squatting on, while misinterpreting the importance of some of the most basic elements, points out that you’re just wearing the fandom as a skinsuit, a way to squeeze some of that filthy lucre from the nerds. Something we’ve seen far too often from the likes of those running Star Trek, Star Wars, Dr. Who into the ground.

Anyway, the producers of that Cthulhu game are back with another IP-cash-grab, this time in the “Tomb raider” franchise. I’ve never played any of the games; this franchise is not my thing. But for those of you who care about it… let me know if they got it right.

Someone did some digging around and found out some stuff about some of the people behind the game…

Tumblr art, self-insert deviant weirdos. Sounds about right.

 Posted by at 6:29 pm
Feb 242024
 

Fortunate is the man who has this coffee table. Fabulously wealthy is he if he has a woman who looks at that table and thinks “that’s awesome, I picked the right guy.”

 

It’s a spectacular piece, and I kinda really want one. However… before I’d plunk down money I don’t have for this sort of thing, I’d demand some improvements. From a distance it looks great, but in the closeup shots you can see the pretty strong layer lines. This appears to have been filament-printed, and little effort seems to have been made to smooth out a lot of it. But as a prototype, it’s fantastic.

 

It’s also interesting to point out that with 6 years worth of Star Trek to choose from, the stuff people *really* seem to like, to the point they’ll spend time, money and effort on, is the TOS and TNG stuff. A similar coffee table using the 1701D bridge? I can definitely see it. Ops from DS9? Meh. Bridges of NX-01 or Voyager? *Maaaaybe.* Kelvinverse Enterprise bridge? Unlikely. STD or SNW bridges? Literally no.

A lot of that is because the TOS and TNG designs were brilliant, while the later ones have been kinda bleh. But also, TOS and TNG are beloved. The shows themselves inspire interest in the designs. nuTrek inspire little more than dismay and fatigue.

I’d be interested to see a kickstarter for a production run of these, with the layer issues dealt with. Pretty sure it’d be far beyond my means, but I’d wish ’em well.

 Posted by at 4:33 pm
Feb 172024
 

I’ve posted some stuff on ebay… an Atlantis 1/72 AH-56 Cheyenne model kit; E-Wing and TIE Defender “Action Fleet” ships; Diamond Select/Art Asylum Classic Tricorder, Classic Science Tricorder and Classic Medical Tricorder.

 

https://www.ebay.com/itm/256415910192

    

 

https://www.ebay.com/itm/256415908169

 

https://www.ebay.com/itm/256415908230

 

 

https://www.ebay.com/itm/256415908285

 

 

https://www.ebay.com/itm/256415908336

 

https://www.ebay.com/itm/256415908399

 Posted by at 1:51 pm
Feb 052024
 

This AM I took Buttons to the vet yet again. X-Ray showed something I really wish it hadn’t; I’m left waiting for a few hours while they do more detailed looking to see if it is indeed cancer. If it is… doesn’t seem like there’s much left to do. The bill is already high, so it’s time to raise funds.

 

Who wants a “Standard Issue Agent Sidearm” replica from “Men In Black,” made by Factory Entertainment over a decade ago. It’s solidly made from aluminum with working sound & lights. This is a full-scale replica, fairly heavy and actually feels almost like a real sidearm. None currently on ebay; I’ve seen them go for over $800. I’ll let this go for $600 plus postage. If interested, send me an email or comment below. If someone wants to offer more than $60, I’m certainly open to that.

 

 Posted by at 1:00 pm
Jan 142024
 

About 20 years ago I got it into my head to write a screenplay: an update of “When Worlds Collide,” based on the book from the 1930’s not the movie from 1951. When originally written, the question was “can we build a rocketship to fly to another planet?” My rewrite would set it a century later (mid/late 2030’s), when the question would be “how many rocketships can we build?” The arks would go not just to Bronson Beta but also to Mars, the Moon and asteroids, all of which would have already been visited by that point anyway. Nations, billionaires, corporations, organizations all slapping together ships of all sizes, to launch as many people, plants and critters as possible. The story would be otherwise much the same as the book.

The sequel, “After Worlds Collide” would remain possible. In the original, the Nazis and the Commies join forces to build their own ark and continue to be dicks on the new world. In my update, their place would be taken by, say, the ChiComs and the Jihadis… but again the story would be similar. One American ark lands on the new world, which they find to have once been populated, the original inhabitants having left a number of domed cities behind. The new world ends up in solar orbit, but an elliptical one… as far out as Mars, not quite as close in as Venus. So those domes cities will come in *damned* handy. But there are arks all over the place, with some working together, others working to take over.

Sadly, I never got around to writing the screenplay. News broke that Spielberg wanted to do a remake of his own and the idea of me writing a competing screenplay became monumentally stupid. Still, I’ve never forgotten the idea and I still think it has merit.

 Posted by at 9:07 pm