Aug 042018
 

Oh, Star Trek. How I loved you. How you’ve burned me.

Sir Patrick Stewart is Returning to Star Trek for a New Series About Picard

Very little hard data (heh). What we got:

  1. It’ll be on CBS All Access, so I won’t be watching it.
  2. It’s set in the TNG universe.
  3. It’s set 20 years after “Nemesis.”
  4. It focuses on Picard.
  5. Picard has changed in important and undescribed ways.
  6. And that’s about it.

Presumably Picard is no longer Captain Picard. Small possibility he’s Admiral Picard. Slightly larger possibility he’s Ambassador Picard. Very low possibility he’s Federation President Picard. My bet is he’s Retired Old Man Picard.

On one level, this is going in the direction of a *proper* star Trek series. It’s set in the “future” of Trek, not yet Another Prequel. It’s set in the “prime” universe. It will presumably – though I may well be waaaaay off base here – pay proper homage to canon and existing design ethics. Klingons might look like Klingons, Federation ships might look like they were designed by the Federation, etc. But given how Trek, and pretty much the rest of Nerd Fandom, has been taken over by a vile cabal of suits who care for nothing but cash and SJWs who care for nothing but cultural domination and weak-willed, weak-minded suckups who will virtue signal at every turn, I expect that they will *badly* mangle this.

In a world of boundless optimism, there would of course be a place for Old Man Picard. In every conception of Star Trek, every Captain who lives long enough will eventually become old and will presumably retire. They could then go on to do any of  number of things which *could* be turned into interesting and uplifting television: he’s now a teacher, perhaps on a teaching *ship,* taking a school full of future Kirks and Scotts out around the universe. Old School Trek… exploration and discovery. Or perhaps he’s now CEO Picard, perhaps running a starship development company; he and his staff including Old Man Scott and Kinda Old Man Laforge are developing amazing new technologies while reinvigorating the spirit of entrepreneurship and capitalism. Or perhaps he owns his own, small exploration ship and out exploring beyond the rim with Lyta, G’kar and Dr. Franklin (a man can dream). Or, since this the era of Grimdark, perhaps he’s leading an underground resistance against the leadership of the Federation… those creepy little bug-things from the first season of TNG have finally shown up and have taken over the government of the Federation and have turned it into a fascist SJW state, and it’s up to Picard and his rag-tag group of Alt-Rikers to save the day.

But this is not a world of boundless optimism. I fully expect Old ManPicard to be Broken Old Man Picard. He’s sad. He has lost his friends, he spends his days morose and dreaming of lost glory days. His sole comfort is his PanTransSpeciesFluid life partner, who he met at a Federation Furry meetup. Every episode will have barely-veiled “Trump is evil” and “people who liked the original Trek are toxic fans” messages. Because the heroes of your youth *must* be deconstructed.

Maybe I’ll be proven wrong. Maybe this won’t actually suck. I’ll just get on with holding my breath, shall I.

 Posted by at 10:10 pm