Jan 132018

North Valley church’s electronic bells too loud, neighbor says

The pastor said he’s responded to the complaints by lowering the volume and moved the bells from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m., but he says they’re not going to turn off the bells completely.

Wonderful neighbors.

Centuries ago, I *suppose* there might have been a purpose in religious places instituting loud blaring “calls to prayer.” But we have these things now called “alarm clocks” and “phones” and such. So the use of such systems *now* smacks less of reminding people what time it is, and more of “lookit me, lookit me.” I wonder if the primary handbook of Da Church has anything to say on the subject. Hmmm…

6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
6:7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

 Posted by at 10:55 am
  • MzUnGu

    Complain to the wrong party…complain to the city.

    I be like showing up on Sunday with a Megaphone playing Marilyn Manson. U only need to do it for like max 2 weekends, and they’ll get the point. LOL

    If that don’t work, shoot at them speakers with some bullets

    • Scottlowther

      Marilyn Manon is a good choice. Justin Beiber ona loop might be good too. If you can get the hardware, get one of those devices that has:
      A: a directional microphone to pick up on what the offender is blaring out
      2: a computational difference engine
      Γ: a directional speaker.

      Put them all together and you get a device that spits back what the other feller is saying, but delayed by half a second or so. Tune it right, and it’ll drive people *mad*. You could use this to blat the “call to prayer” back at ’em, which might or might not work. Use to to nail the preacher feller while he’s up doing his schtick; that’ll certainly bug him. Or you could record the call to prayer and then use the directional speaker like an LRAD to interrupt his spiel. Other audio choices would be dogs barking, infants screaming, badly but enthusiastically acted porn, farts & belches, commercial jingles (like that disturbing-as-hell Halo Top ice cream jingle from some months back), *badly* recorded muzak, Ave Satani from “The Omen,” or just a really high-pitched tone just at the edge of hearing. Vary it so it sounds like a skeeter.

      Granted, this is all a lot harder, unnecessarily so, than simply taking out the speakers with a well-aimed bullet. But you go shooting churches within city limits, the law tends to get involved.

      Other options: send door-to-door used religion salesmen to drop by during services. It would be difficult to get the Mormons or Jehovahs Witnesses to do that…but the Satanists? May be. Get the Discordians or Klingon Fundamentalists to do it; offer booze and they’ll probably happily go through the front door chanting their thing.

      Also: a sizable drone, well-piloted, equipped with a can of high expansion spray foam insulation. When the thing is blaring way, go encapsulate it. This also works for high-intensity lights that destroy the night sky for no good reason, though fires would likely result.

      Yeah, yeah, legal notice, don’t actually do this.

    • Michel Van

      Rammstein also good choice and have perfect loud songs
      Feuer Frei, Ich Hab Keine Lust, Links 234 and HALLELUJAH

      special the last one it’s about crimes of child abuser priest

  • Michel Van

    A Electronic church bells at 6 a clock in morning ?!

    In Germany that church would be offline in 45 minutes by the regulatory agency
    because “disturbing the peace at night” special at Sundays
    They would shut down installation and seal it
    if Priest refuse let them in, the officers call the cops, who get in to shut down the bell.
    you see Germany has Laws about wenn a church bell may ring and how loud

    in Belgium it will happen faster, 15 minute after the first call.
    The federal police storm the church, arrest the priest and shut down electricity.
    and drag the priest to there office for inquisition…
    you see Belgium has some issue with Roman Catholic church

    • allen

      do they apply those rules to the muslim calls to prayer? I would hope so. those are far more annoying than the church bells.

      • Michel Van

        The muslims are very quiet in Belgium
        They no do call for prayer in public
        The believer come at designate time for service
        This was even before Wave of Islam Terrorism in Belgium began

        Then were several attempts of “Sharia 4 Belgium”,
        and make public call for prayer in Antwerpen,
        guess who came after 15 minutes and was totally piss off ?

  • James

    Meh had some down the street from me. They weren’t a problem.

    And again the thing about religion is…its the same as all other human interactions. The group will turn any belief into a ideology. ANY AND ALL.

    Take a look at the similarities between say communism and socialism and Capitalism. All contain a Devil, a end goal to sacrifice to and a set of instructions on behavior.

  • Thucydides_of_Athens

    I would actually side with the church on this one. Shutting them down with lawfare is similar in intent to attacking bakers or other small businesspeople for their beliefs,

    Of course concerned Christians could (hypothetically, of course) get vans with tricked out sound systems to play religious music at “appropriate” times at different locations. Sadly, I doubt that anyone is thinking along these lines.

    And somehow I doubt that a mosque broadcasting their call for payers would respond by offering to turn down their speakers, but the complainers might find themselves on the wrong end of an “offer” instead.

    • Scottlowther

      > Shutting them down with lawfare is similar in intent to attacking bakers or other small businesspeople for their beliefs,

      Ummm… no. The church is being a nuisance. The hypothetical baker isn’t.

      Imagine if, instead of a church, it was the local neighbor who just likes to play glam rock at 180 decibels at 6 in the morning, and didn’t stop when asked.

      • robunos20

        >Imagine if, instead of a church, it was the local neighbor who just likes to play glam rock at 180 decibels at 6 in the morning . . .

        Cum on Feel The Noize !!!


      • Thucydides_of_Athens

        Individuals can be dealt with. Simple solution would be for me to blast back with some Gothic Rock of my own.

        But the real issue is selectively targeting institutions because they don’t fit into some “rightthink” category. I can say with almost complete certainty if it were a mosque broadcasting the call to prayer at 0600, the “offended” neighbours in the story would not say a word, or even dare come out of their front door.

        • Scottlowther

          The issue here isn’t that people are targeting the church cuz they don’t like them Christians, but because the church is going out of its way to be a dickish neighbor.