Sep 032016
 

And from the looks of it, someday soon.

Drone footage showing the flood of people dying to get into the “Ark Encounter” five minutes before opening on August 28, 2016.

 

So what will the reworked casino/hotel version be called? “Trump Titanic II” seems obvious. TrumpTanic? Looking at the shape of the “Ark” I’d recommend making it into an Exxon Valdez tribute. Slight reworking of the island at the rear and a new coat of paint and you’re good to go.

That is one *hell* of a parking lot. The amount of carbon dumped into the air during the process of chopping down the forest, grading the terrain and laying down the asphalt, coupled with the solar radiation that will be absorbed by the blacktop and converted into straight-up heat… that parking lot alone will be responsible for the melting of the Greenland ice sheet and the flooding of Florida.

A walkthrough video. Clearly a whole lot of work went into this. It looks like they hired the artists who paint the illustrations for “Magic: The Gathering” and “World of Warcraft” to do the paintings illustrating the antediluvian world.

 Posted by at 10:39 am
  • Herp McDerp

    I thought this was interesting …

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2015/11/11/what-ken-ham-isnt-telling-you-about-ark-encounter-funding/

    Ark Encounter is being funded by a $62 million TIF.

    … TIF stands for “Tax Increment Financing” and they’re usually issued in urban areas that are considered “blighted.” For example, suppose there was an abandoned shopping mall in a deteriorating community. A TIF can be set up to attract developers whose businesses may revitalize the area. The district officials could, for example, give the developers interest-free loans to build their project based on what they expect they can retrieve in property taxes over the next 30 years. That’s it. The developers don’t have to do anything differently from if they hadn’t been issued the TIFs at all. But now, rather than the property taxes going back to the community, the tax revenue is diverted to pay off the loan.

    This can be a great help to the local economy if the development is a long-term success — it’s money well invested. The downside is, if the new developments fall short of projections (or fail entirely), the developers aren’t held liable for repayment and the burden of debt falls on the investors and taxpayers. […]

    Now that we know the specifics, we can decode Ham’s careful wording when he says, “No unwilling taxpayer will subsidize the Ark.” He’s being truthful, as well as disturbingly deceptive. It’s true the Ark replica itself is being built entirely on donations. But taxpayers will absolutely pay a price through the subsidies for the land and the 75% property tax break he gets for the next 30 years.

    There’s also an explanation for that impressive parking lot.

    • publiusr

      You never know when an asteroid strike in the ocean occurs..Chances are–this won’t float either.

  • se jones

    Good lord, looking at Google Earth that parking lot is as big as the lots at the Pentagon.

    And another thing…
    where on the ark are the saltwater aquariums for all the millions of species of marine life?

    • Scottlowther

      One wonders what bottomfeeding freshwater fish like catfish lived on. DidNoah collect samples of coral reefs? Horseshoe crabs? And so on.

      The obvious and reasonably reasonable answer to these questions is “God miracled them into surviving the flood.” Great, good, fine. But then, what’s with the boat? If God can simply decree that all the salt water and fresh water life will be able to survive a complete change to their environment… what does god need with an ark? Just miracle all the land critters into the revised world.

      • se jones

        Indeed Mr. Lowther, indeed.
        “Just miracle all the land critters into the revised world”. Brings to mind the perfectly dreadful remake of “When the Earth Stood Still” that I watched the other night. Yes, ultimately WTF why would all powerful aliens or this Bible God guy play all these ridiculous games, just wipe out all the evil humans with wave of the magic wand and start over in an environmentalist’s wet dream? Rhetorical question.
        ‘Course there’s the Christian redemption thing, so I guess all the humans aren’t wiped out, just a few Noah clan members survive. But maybe they just fell asleep one night and God transported them to a “new” earth like planet where they could start over. Surly in the galaxy there’s a few planets that are “close enough for government work” (just right CO2 level is the hardest part) so the Noah clan wouldn’t know the difference. My fundamentalist friends tell me that nobody saw the stars until after ‘the flood’ because there was a super duper water cloud canopy over the earth, so new constellations…no confusion there.

        • Scottlowther

          > But maybe they just fell asleep one night and God transported them to a “new” earth like planet where they could start over.

          Star Trek already did that, the episode with Worf’s brother blackmailing the Enterprise into transporting a small group of folk from some doomed world to a less doomed one. Because the Prime Directive is freakin’ retarded, you *have* to blackmail the best and most ethical Starfleet captains in order to get them to rescue people who don’t meet certain technological standards.

          • se jones

            “Less doomed”. That’s funny right there.

            “…get them to rescue people who don’t meet certain technological standards” Mmmm, that’s a familiar scenario in my twisted mind:

            https://youtu.be/P0q4o58pKwA?t=35s

          • Herp McDerp

            “Less doomed”. That’s funny right there.

            One good Ark deserves another! I’m pretty sure that’s a callback to Arthur Dent’s reaction to the Golgafrincham “B” Ark …

            “Well what happened, you see, was,” said the Captain, “our planet, the world from which we have come, was, so to speak, doomed.”

            “Doomed?”

            “Oh yes. So what everyone thought was, let’s pack the whole population into some giant spaceships and go and settle on another planet.”

            Having told this much of his story, he settled back with a satisfied grunt.

            “You mean a less doomed one?” prompted Arthur.

            “What did you say dear fellow?”

            “A less doomed planet. You were going to settle on.”

            “Are going to settle on, yes. So it was decided to build three ships, you see, three Arks in Space, and … I’m not boring you am I?”

            “No, no,” said Ford firmly, “it’s fascinating.”

    • Scottlowther

      > that parking lot is as big as the lots at the Pentagon.

      I thought you were kidding.

      You are not.

      • publiusr

        When the wood falls away–you will see a full sized Sea Dragon–it’s really part of the One True Church of HLLVs

  • Knigh26

    I have friends who are super christian who went to this and even they laughed at how stupid it was. They even wrote some very negative reviews on the place because of how it manipulates and twists “science” to serve its agenda. They said I would have a field day there asking why the builders took a book of the bible that most Christians, and even the Catholic Church, have declared largely allegorical and made it so literal. I pity people with so little imagination that they think things like this are true.

    • Scottlowther

      > why the builders took a book of the bible that most Christians, and even
      the Catholic Church, have declared largely allegorical and made it so
      literal.

      Some of it, I think, comes from the same wacky part of the human psyche that caused me to try to rationalize how to get from 1968 to “2001” a few years ago. Or how fans of this show or that try to figure out how the obviously screwed-up continuity still all works together. How Star Trek *explicitly* stated that the 1990’s would see Eugenics Wars with Khan ruling millions and ships capable of leaving the solar system loaded with hundreds of people in cryostasis chambers… when nobody seems to actually remember those wars, those spaceships or that stasis chamber technology.

      but when it comes to religion, rather than just being entertaining stories that people geek out over, a lot of people believe that The Inerrant Word Of God is *necessarily* literally true. And thus to say that it *isn’t* literally true means you’re saying that God is a liar. In previous eras, or in shittier parts of the world today, that will simply get the blasphemer tossed in a hole or set on fire. But now, the literalists are faced with evidence in the natural world that argues clearly against a literal interpretation. And most people don’t change their theory to fit the facts; they dig in their heels. And often just get weirder.

      • Herp McDerp

        … a lot of people believe that The Inerrant Word Of God is *necessarily*
        literally true. And thus to say that it *isn’t* literally true means
        you’re saying that God is a liar.

        Some years ago I had several conversations with a fellow at work who was a member of the Foursquare Gospel Church, which claims that every word of the King James Version of the Bible is literally true and inspired by God, right down to the mistranslations. He informed me of various “facts,” including that dinosaurs were just lizards that had grown to a very large size because the Garden of Eden was a very healthy place, that it had never rained on Earth before the Flood, that there really was a rich man named Dives (which meant “rich” in Latin), and that — here comes the point of this story — the Bible must be taken literally because God didn’t speak in metaphors. “You mean God can’t?” I asked less than innocently. “Noooo …” he replied, “He just didn’t want to!” “And you know this … how?” “Um … it’s time for me to get back to work.”

  • George Allegrezza

    As one of the commentators said about a race I was watching, “Everyone came dressed as aluminum grandstands”.

    Come to think of it, that ark could be converted into a sweet pit building for a racetrack built on this property. Parking sure as poop won’t be an issue.

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  • se jones

    Oooo Google is paying $97 bucks and hour!
    Screw this pitiful engineering salary. Thanks George, where do I sign up?

  • Michel Van

    there another Video showing the ARK Parking at peak hours
    1/3 used is insufficient to keep place running
    i guess this will one day good running Casino…

    …a James Bond Casino based on Movie ” The Spy who loved Me”
    you know the one with a big tanker.

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