May 282015
 

Yikes. A graph depicting the ongoing death toll of workers in Qatar building the facilities for the 2022 World Cup:

soccer-not-even-once

Parents: don’t let your kids be a part of this travesty. Teach them that there are alternatives to soccer. Safer, less violent, more socially uplifting alternatives… not to mention more interesting and useful. Baseball. Basketball. Rugby. Gunrunning. Dungeons and Dragons. Smoking dope. Chess. Mortal Combat. Watching paint dry.

Soccer: not even once.

 Posted by at 6:01 am
  • xvdougl

    I’m sure the wonderful folks at FIFA will get right on the problem. You know the soccer crazies are gonna go bugnuts now that you’ve posted this, right?

    • Scottlowther

      The soccer crazies are *already* bugnuts. The questions is: were they attracted to this horrible sport because they’re crazy, or did the horribleness of the sport drive them crazy?

      • Herp McDerp

        You’ve heard of “Munchausen’s by Proxy” syndrome? What we have here is similar. The fans of soccer acquire brain damage when the players knock the ball around with their heads …

      • xvdougl

        I’ll have to say that the lack of people jumping in to tell you what an awful person you are is quite surprising considering the last time you broached the subject. I guess since the world cup isn’t the hot topic the tide has receded.

        • Scottlowther

          Well, that or the die-hard soccer fans may simply have slid into a drunken stupor.

  • Dan Sharp

    They are attracted to this horrible sport by the money. Lots and lots of money. From Russia,

    • Scottlowther

      People around the world were unaccountably attracted to soccer long before Russia had lots of money.

      My hypothesis is that soccer is a symptom of the human drive to be dominated. Everybody likes to proclaim a love of liberty, but it’s an undeniable truth that many humans, perhaps most humans, have a deep-seated need to be part of a collective, to be told what to do. Thus the popularity of collectivist movements like fascism and communism and authoritarian dictators and certain religions and the drive to worship celebrities and royals and boy bands and the like. A large part of all this is the willingness to shut off critical thinking and replace it with simple acceptance of what you’re told; as Creationism and Newage show, a whole lot of people are clearly driven to not just Accept, but Accept Obvious Bullshit. And thus we see masses of people Accepting Soccer As A Sport Worth Watching, when it clearly isn’t. As the cognitive dissonance bubbles to the surface, the soccer fan turns feral and riots.

      It’s sad, but probably inevitable. As science fiction tells us, mankind is not yet “mature;” and thus mankind is still interested in things like kings and soccer, things only fit for little kids. With luck mankind will grow out of this phase.

      • Dan Sharp

        I say let mankind get on with it. People who have money should be free to spend it on whatever they damn well please. You want to spend it on football, be my guest. You want to fill your garage with sports cars, hell, get yourself down to that dealership and go nuts. People like what they like and it’s seldom what I like but that’s their choice.
        And royals are great for tourism. Ker-ching.

        • Scottlowther

          There is a wide gulf between “people should be allowed to do what they want” and “whatever people want to do is good.” Yes, you should be allowed to drink yourself into a stupor or smoke like a chimney or watch The View or vote for Democrats, but these are basically *bad* things to do, and nobody else is required to *not* call them out as such.

          > And royals are great for tourism.

          Imagine how much better the tourism would be if it was the Buckingham Colonial Space Launch Facility, with daily flights to British holdings on the Moon, Mars and beyond.

          • Adam

            I believe we should simply encourage other forms of pleasure to replace soccer. Personally, I say we use weed. It’s a depressant that will serve as an opiate for the masses that will dull the senses and cognition of the people and prevent them from questioning the actions of the intellectual elite that shall serve to advance society.

          • Dan Sharp

            People like to do things that are bad for them, true enough, but I always enjoy it when people call them out as such, particularly when they do it with some serious vitriol. Still, the world would be less interesting if everyone only ever did what was good for them.
            Believe me, I have imagined many times how much better the tourism would be if it was the Buckingham Colonial Space Launch Facility with daily flights to British holdings on the Moon, Mars and beyond.
            Contrary to popular belief, Britain has always had the money for this sort of thing – there’s just never been any political appetite for it, sadly. The money gets wasted on other stuff instead…

  • B-Sabre

    The number is slightly misleading, as the graph is all migrant worker deaths in Qatar since 2010 (when the 2022 World Cup was announced) versus deaths directly attributable to specific sporting venue preparation. So how many deaths would a country like the US or Canada show for a 15 year period? I’m assuming Qatar would still suck based on the size of the country….