Fine. The “Big Ass Hole In The Ground” award has to go to nature for this one:
Oh, and a question for any European or Asian tourists-in-America who may be reading this blog:
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
Over the years I have noticed an odd quirk among Asian tourists (presumption has always been Japanese, but I cannot confirm that) that I have recently also noticed in a great many European tourists (most notably German, or at least German-speaking) tourists: the elevator or bus door opens, and those *outside* rush to get *inside.* This is not only rude, it’s fricken’ stupid. The people inside need to be let out first, otherwise there is a needless “traffic jam” within that confined space.
This happened again today, on a shuttle bus at the Grand Canyon – a shuttle bus which spends several minutes stopped dead at each stop. Bus stops, and two scrawny German-speaking dorks rush onboard, and tried to shove their way past me. Now, y’all know I’m an even-tempered, peace-lovin’ kinda guy, but this annoyed the hell out of me, especially since one of my party is a cripple (yes, that’s right ya bastards, a cripple. Not handicapped, not handicapable, not physically challenged… the cripple in question self-references as a cripple, so if that offends, feel free to bend over, pucker up and bite my shiny metal ass) and needs a little extra time and space to exit the bus. Consequently I stuffed them into a small corner, making it clear that they did not have the right of way. Granola-gnawing vegan Euro-hipster stick figures cannot easily shove their way past an annoyed American carnivore on the upper end of the bell curve in terms of height, weight, width and stubborn-ness. Sure, they gave me dirty looks, but like the UN, that’s about all they were capable of.
So what this hell is it? Is it a common cultural thing to rush onboard a bus that’s not going to leave for five fargin’ minutes, or am I just running into (and over – but that’s another story of high hilarity, elevators, small Japanese tourists and demonstrations of momentum and the advantages of mass) a particularly annoying breed of lame-ass tourist?
So, here’s my little bit of advice if yer planning on visiting the US: calm the hell down. The bus ain’t gonna leave without you.
NOTE: I have no doubt that Americans similarly make asses of themselves while touristing overseas. I’ve seen “European Vacation” and watched Obama in action.
5 Responses to “Curse you, Nature, you win this round!”
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>WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
we Germans are impatient people
Sitting for hours in travelbus, at arrival get out quickly, faster, faster !
see it as a tourist version of the Blitzkrieg
only armed with cameras…
People trying to push onto a bus past debarking passengers is a universal thing I’m sorry to say. I had to push someone back who was blocking a door once, and the train we were trying to get out of was PACKED (SF Muni had failed hard that day, well… year). He had been waiting an hour or more for his ride home (which I know because that’s how long I’d been on that damned train), but he was trying to get into a bus that looked like rush hour in Tokyo: not enough room to faint.
I think he got the picture when the train emptied completely out.
> we Germans are impatient people
People need to learn that impatience, when acted upon in an irrational manner, can make a person *later* than if they’d just calmed the hell down.
Oh: and tell any of your buddies coming to the US… the “popped collar” and “overdressed, male-model-wannabe metrosexual” looks are over in the US, and make people snicker.
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> People trying to push onto a bus past debarking passengers is a universal thing…
I don’t doubt that. It’s just that I’ve noticed substantially more pushiness on the part of certain nationalities, and was wondering if that’s because in, say, Japan, it’s the cultural norm to rush the elevator and crush the current occupants into the back… or if Japan is just exporting it’s elevator-assholes to the US for some reason.
As for the popped collar look if you want hours of laughter go to the “Hot Chicks with Douchebags” site. The look is alive and well amongst the East Coast’s more intellectually challenged. A quick example:
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/Mammy-726392.jpg
> The look is alive and well amongst the East Coast’s more intellectually challenged.
Huh. Can’t say as I’ve seen Teddy Kennedy with a popped collar, but then I haven’t been looking for that, either.