Jan 312012

From Alaska, Great Concern for Central Park

Short form: State legislature of Alaska is debating a resolution to have the FedGuv take over New York’s Central Park as a National park, thus preventing any changes to it without an act of congress. They are doing this to protest the incessant meddling of “east coast environmentalists” in Alaskan affairs.

A suggestion, though: they were thinking too small. The problem that Alaska is having isn’t that the environmentalists are messing with a commonly used recreation park, but that they are messing with Alaskans ability to make an income by shutting down businesses. So, my suggestion wouldn’t be to turn Central Park into a federal National Park… but to turn *Manhattan* into a National Park. Thus if anyone wanted to build a new building, tear down an old one, re-wire a power grid, swap out streetlights, pave over potholes or re-decorate their apartment… they’d need to get specific permission from Congress to do so. *That* would be fair and proper.

 Posted by at 10:31 am
  • Arluk iii

    That crazy East Coast… how dare they start America, purchase Alaska from the Russians, and then much later on require that some semblance of nature be preserved there in certain select areas! Either a park is for shootin’ guns and racin’ atvs, or it is for nothin! Animals are just in the way of more oil drilling anyway.

    • Anonymous

      You’re right! the west coast should genuflect to the desires of those on the East coast. But then… those on the East coast should bow down to European royalty. And the Europeans should knuckle under to the wishes of those in the Middle East. And they should devote their time to obeying the wishes of Tanzanians.