Jan 082015

Wednesday nights “Daily Show” had a bit of a problem: how to be funny in light of the Charlie Hebdo massacre. I recall the Funny Industry had the same problem immediately after 9/11, with a number of comedy shows simply going off the air for a few days to try to figure things out. Of course, the Hebdo incident is less of a problem there… a dozen dead, rather than a few thousand… and it happened Way Over There, rather than in the very heart of the TV industry. Still I think The Daily Show managed to pull off the right mix: they started with a good (if incomplete) commentary on the incident, and then promptly segued into the only thing that could be funny in the current context: Nazi cows.


Followed by:


 Posted by at 11:25 pm
Jan 072015

The terrorist attack in Paris was brought on because the targeted company publishes “Charlie Hebdo,” a satirical French-language newspaper that has published cartoons mocking, or at least depicting, Islam’s inventor Mohammad. The goal was not only to punish Charlie Hebdo, but also to discourage future mockery of Mo. It was, in short, a direct attack on free expression.

There are two responses that should be spooled up and enacted just as soon as possible:

1) Find the perpetrators and kill them. Or capture, charge, try and imprison them, if you must.
2) Promptly show that efforts at squashing free expression will not only fail, but backfire.

Most people obviously cannot do much about #1, but #2? That’s a game anyone can play. Unfortunately, it’s a game a lot of journalistic cowards are too *afraid* to play:

Some Outlets Are Censoring Charlie Hebdo’s Satirical Cartoons After Attack

As one publisher says in the piece, “what right do I have to risk the lives of my staff to make a point?”

That’s right. You have no right to risk the lives of your staff. So stop sending them to war zones, disaster scenes, high crime areas.

The article includes a distressing number of photos included in major media outlets that show the Charlie Hebdo magazine, but censor out the “offending” cartoons. Feh.

So, these are the ones that got censored. I don’t speak a word of French beyond “merde,” so I have no idea if these are in any way NSFW. So I’ve put a little break here juuuuust in case you’re feeling squishy about opening them up at work or some such.

It should be noted that Charlie Hebdo seems to have been a generally anti-religion publication. Do a Google image search, and you’ll see a *lot* of cartoons, many quite vulgar, that depict old-school anti-Semitic cartoons… and some seriously anti-Catholic cartoons (anti-Catholic. In freakin’ France.) And yet… I don’t see a whole lot of news items about how the offices of Charlie Hebdo were firebombed by Da Joooz or shot up by the Papists.

Continue reading »

 Posted by at 3:54 pm
Jan 072015

I just can’t snark.

12 killed in shooting at French satirical magazine

Three Surt worshippers attacked the offices of a magazine and killed the editor (Stephane Charbonnier AKA “Charb”)who was under active police protection, so that alone should prove interesting) and three of the magazines cartoonists, Cabu, Wolinski and Tignous. I understand that these are the most famous cartoonists in France.

Claims are that the shooters shouted “The prophet is avenged” in French and “Allahu Ackbar” as they slaughtered people, including executing a cop in the street. The three “gunmen” escaped and are currently on the loose.

There have been a multitude of exclamations of grief and sympathy for the French. I will say, instead, to anyone in France: good hunting. Go get ‘em.


Interesting timing:

Furore over novel depicting Muslim-run France


 Posted by at 9:13 am
Jan 062015

Documentaries purporting to support creationism, ancient (or even current) aliens, ghost hunting, etc. are bad enough. But there’s a concept so mind-bogglingly backwards that you’ll shed neurons just finding out that there are supposedly educated people who actually buy into it: geocentrism. Yes, there are people in the modern world who actually believe that the Earth is the unmoving, non-rotating center of the universe.

Self-Centered: ‘Geocentrist’ Movie To Get Limited Theatrical Release

Look, I know if you look into the sky, it *looks* like the Sun and Moon and stars are turning around the Earth, and that you don’t *feel* the Earth turning. For most people and most professions, a geocentric worldview works as well as a heliocentric one.

But you know what kind of person a geocentric worldview *doesn’t* work for? Forget the astronomers. Forget the cosmologists. It doesn’t work for anyone who uses GPS. It doesn’t work for anyone who needs to aim an ICBM. it doesn’t work for anyone involved in trying to put something in orbit. And I don’t even mean an orbit out to Saturn, I mean the simplest orbit around the Earth.


Look, I get it. Some people have a driving need to feel special. So they try to become celebrities, or politicians, or conspiracy theorists, or religious cranks like these goobers. But individual humans are, statistically speaking, *not* special. And Earth? Even more not special. We’ the center of precisely nothing, except a cloud of satellites and space junk that *we* launched. We are the center of the universe in precisely the same way that Mecca is the center of the spherical surface of the Earth: it ain’t. There ain’t no such damn thing as a center to the universe, anymore than there’s a center to a finite but unbounded region such as a spherical surface.

 Posted by at 3:42 pm
Dec 152014

This here4’s an interesting attention-seeking stunt:

13 “Gay” Bakeries Deny Christian’s Request for Pro-Traditional Marriage Cake

Now, this is not *exactly* the same as the cases where gay couples were denied cakes from Christian bakeries, since here the guy is asking for a cake that specifically says “gay marriage is wrong” (as opposed to “straight/gay marriage is awesome” or some such). Still, the responses the guy gets are pretty interesting… they are pretty much the same responses the Christian bakeries would give, but with added expletives. It seems to me that if Side A can sue Side B to force Side B to bake a cake that has a message that Side B is uncomfortable with, then turnabout is legal fair play.

The language the guy gets from the Diverse Tolerant Equality Loving Folk is seriously NSFW. So crank it up in the office!

[youtube AJaroR_qTNs]

[youtube ptgAKywiHG0]

My own opinion on the matter, since I’m sure y’all are terribly interested? It boils down to this: “Mask your contempt and cash the check.”

 Posted by at 11:45 pm
Dec 152014

According to some superstitions, it’s a bad idea to create a representation of a human face. And thus we have these dolls for the more unfortunate children of the world:

Deeni Dolls


“There is an Islamic ruling which forbids the depiction of facial features of any kind and that includes pictures, sculptures and, in this case, dolls.

“I spoke to a religious scholar in Leicester who guided me through what was and what was not permissible when producing the product.

“The Deeni Doll has no face on it whatsoever and is Shariah compliant.”

The doll itself retails at £25 and, whilst it may not be the first of its kind in the world, it is thought to be the only one produced to such a high quality.

Ye gods. Sure, what do kids indoctrinated into a dehumanizing belief system really need? *Toys* that dehumanize them even more. If a child is taught that it is wrong for a doll to have facial features, it won’t be long before they come to understand that showing their own facial features is wrong. And thus they accept covering their own features and suppressing their individuality.

A common trope in sci-fi and fantasy is to have the massed forces of the enemy wearing uniforms that disguise their features – think “Imperial Stormtroopers.” One purpose of this is that if the enemies all look exactly the same, especially if they don’t have recognizable faces, then you can mow them down in industrial numbers and not give a damn. Because by eliminating their individuality, you are eliminating what makes them human. They are no more than robots made out of meat.

So… that’s what these jackholes are doing to their own children.


Oh, well. At least this idiocy provides an opportunity for mockery for the rest of us. By leaving the “faces” blank, they become the perfect canvases for “improvements.”

deeni-doll 6 deeni-doll 5 deeni-doll 4 deeni-doll 3 deeni-doll 2 deeni-doll 1

 Posted by at 7:28 pm
Dec 102014

Peru riled by Greenpeace stunt at Nazca lines

Greenpissers set up some big ol’ yellow cloth letters next to one of the better known Nazca geoglyphs (the hummingbird). The problem here is that the surface is *really* fragile. The “Nazca lines” were originally made by simply scraping a thin layer of black dust off the whitish substrate; it’s easy to do, and easy to damage. The link above includes some Associated Press branded photos of the Greenpissers message, but if’n ya want an idea of what their little stunt did…






 Posted by at 9:06 am