Brazil Just Shot and Killed Its Own Olympic Mascot

Specifically, “Juma,” a 17-year-old endangered jaguar that was trotted out like a prop for a torch ceremony. When returned to its zoo, it escaped, wandered around for a bit, got shot with four tranquilizer darts, and when that didn’t knock it down they upgraded to “solider with a rifle.”

Tell me that this Olympics just looks like a barrel of fun:

Times like this I’m glad I don’t give a rats ass about sports, or otherwise the prospect of having to decide to wander on down to Zikaville to watch some games surrounded by a nation on the brink just might give me heartburn.